.As I sit here in my home office on January 1, 2023 I find myself worrying about you. I’ve lived long enough to know that this universe can be an incredible, amazing and wonderful place, full of joy, laughter and magic. But I also know that there are times when it is tough to be human, and it feels like we are surrounded by troubles, trials and problems.
And I really worry about how you’re doing.
Because it’s so easy for us to project a great image to the world. Social media is full of this; carefully curated content that never reveals the sadness and struggles of the people who profess that they are having such wonderful lives. I think sometimes we hold back our truth out of some strange belief that we have to be perfect in order to have value.
I want you to know that this is a place where you don’t have to be that way.
But I also want this to be a place where you come for inspiration, comfort and understanding. I’ve lived long enough to know that the greatest gifts in this world don’t have a monetary value, because they are things that can’t be purchased or procured. My hope is that I’m able to give you something of value every time I post, and that something I say makes every day of yours just that little “or a lot” better.
My goal for this work is that you come to a place of peace within yourself.
If I go back over the last 35 years that I’ve been on this “journey” there have been so many different stages. Anger, frustration, self-pity, rage, sadness. I’m very familiar with all of those. As I’ve done the work, and I’ve reached something that looks like a better place, I’ve come to understand who I am, and more importantly to realize a sense of gratitude for myself.
And that is something you can’t purchase, but I wish everybody could receive.
Years ago if you had come up to me and in some way said something to deliberately make me feel bad, my first reaction would have been sadness, followed by anger. You would have had control over how I felt simply by the way you treated me. I would’ve been your marionette, just the slightest movement of language was all it took to make me dance.
Honestly now, if someone treats me that way, the only control they have over me is to push me into a place of caring about them more. Because I’ve come to understand that people who really have a sense of peace about themselves don’t treat others that way. In fact, we pretty much go out of our way to try and avoid that kind of behavior.
Because we know how it feels, and we don’t desire that for you.
So when I see somebody acting in a way to hurt somebody else, and I can tell that they’re doing it deliberately, but I mostly see is somebody who is hurting, and who in their own way is crying out for attention. Often they’re seeking a sense of significance by feeling better than somebody else, or maybe they just desperate for some kind of human connection even if it’s negative and based in trouble.
Truly peaceful people try to solve problems, not create them.
And when it comes right down to it, that’s what I want for you. I have this crazy dream of changing the world by helping enough people find peace within themselves. Because the more peace will become as a society, the more the people who aren’t peaceful stand out, and we can see their pain and help them.
I realize that there will always be those who are truly beyond help, but if we can raise the standard of kindness in our society, we will find those who are beyond their help will have less people to hurt.
If there is a pathway to peace in this world, I truly, madly and deeply believe that the stones on that pathway are knowledge, healing and a profound desire to serve. It starts by coming to understand ourselves, so that we might truly understand what it is that we have to heal. When we recognize it, we can do the work of stopping our emotional bleeding, binding up our souls, and exchanging peace for pain, happiness for hurt, and a sublime sense of satisfaction for sadness.
I want you to become the most peaceful version of yourself.
Peace does not always mean that you’re happy, but it means that we have enough emotional foundation to see ourselves through the tough times, and to rejoice and enjoy the good. Peace is knowing when to walk away, and having emotional courage to treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated. Peace is recognizing pain in others, and desiring to reach out and heal.
May we together make a world where peace is our birthright, compassion our watchword, and kindness the trademark of our souls.
This is my wish and my desire for you.
This is why do what I do.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings