If you had told me almost 5 years ago that one day I would be writing the 601st piece of this work, I doubt I would have believed you. The first few pieces I wrote weren’t shared under the Morning Reflections account, but just shared to my own personal page. I had written a few longer form pieces before, but when I started writing this work, I had only a vague idea of what I was doing.
Actually, it was probably a lot less than vague, like almost nonexistent.
In the first almost 2 years, I wrote 5 pieces a week, then life dealt me a significant curveball, and I dropped way back. In the 3 years that have followed, I was inconsistent, just putting up pieces here and there. I didn’t know why I was still writing, and for a time even though I had stopped. Yet here we are, at piece number 601, and I feel like the work is beginning anew.
I guess I tell you this in the hope that you will understand that real life is messy, and organic.
Which, given the fact that I am someone with a high certainty need, doesn’t feel good to me. I like detailed plans, clear objectives, and pathways with minimal options for failure and defeat. So I think it’s kind of ironic that what I consider to be probably the most important and meaningful contribution I've made to the world (so far) has actually been messy, and disjointed.
I think there’s a lesson there for me, if I’m willing to receive it.
Because the biggest things in your life are usually organic, disjointed and messy. Sometimes it’s hard to see the future, and to have a clear plan. When I emigrated to this country to marry my wife, the only thing I knew for sure was that I wanted to be with her. I left behind a family, a potential career and an entire country and history to start a new life with her.
I didn’t know every step, I just knew what I wanted the outcome to be (us together).
Likewise, when I started this work, I didn’t really know what it was going to look like, I just wanted to write things to help people makes sense of this thing we call life. I don’t know why I felt like I had anything worth saying at the time, although I've always known I’m one of those people who see the world differently to most people, and sometimes that perspective has helped.
And even now, 600 pieces later, I’m still struggling to figure out exactly how this all comes together.
Yet I am getting clearer about the goal, or the ‘Why’ of this work. Quite simply, it’s about you. The person who reads this work, who sometimes shares a comment, or sends me a message when something I've written touches a chord. It’s even for the person who comes across one piece, shared by a friend, and who never reads another word I've written again.
Each of you, individually and as a group, matter to me.
I've seen enough of life to know that it can be short, painful, cruel and merciless. I've also seen where it can be beautiful, meaningful, loving and gentle. Life itself is an incredible opportunity, and yet I’ve seen it be difficult and hard.
There is always a little dark in the light, and a little light in the dark.
Which is why we all need a friend who can help us see things from a different perspective. When I titled this work Morning Reflections almost 5 years ago, I had no idea that what I was describing was how this work would come to serve – by reflecting light from a different source, so that you can see yourself differently.
As I have written before – if you could see yourself the way I see you, I think you would love yourself more, and care for yourself better.
So as I write this post, I realize that if I’m going to reach more people, and help in the way that I want to, I’m going to have to up my game. It’s probably a book, maybe a podcast, or even one day a YouTube channel. It probably means adding social media channels such as Instagram. It definitely means letting go of a lot of my fears about how I will be received, and just staying focused on how I can help you better.
In the end, it’s got to be about you.
Because you are worth it.
Always.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings