Holding so hard to the ‘Truth’
If anyone ever tells you that coaching is fun, run from them as fast as possible… because they’re either an idiot, or have no concept of what real coaching is, or they are trying to sell you something.
About a month ago I started working with a coach for my own growth. She’s a woman who I have known for a while was going to be a part of my journey, and so far I’ve had 4 calls with her.
Only 1 of them has been what I would describe as ‘fun’.
The other three have been hard, painful and left me in what has been termed in our household the ‘post Jessica funk’. Other people she coaches refer to it as a ‘hang over’, and there are a lot of similarities.
You feel like your world is upside down, you feel lost, your head hurts, and you just want to sit in a corner and not think anymore. I knew she would take me through this, which is probably why I waited a long time to sign up with her, and so far it is living up to my expectations
Which tells me it’s doing some good, because it’s forcing me to face things I don’t want to face.
Right now, she’s having me work on being present in the moment, and sitting with the feelings that occur.
I must admit that it’s frustrating to have someone saying to me the things that I have said to others, but that’s why coaching is so important… because we can’t read the label on our own jar, and sometimes we need to hear the things from someone else that we have never been able to tell ourselves.
And to be honest, being ‘present’ right now sucks.
Because I, like most people, have a bunch of stories in my head. Good things, bad things, difficult things. All of these stories are there to emotionally hold on to a ‘truth’ that for some reason I am unable to let go of.
That these truths are difficult to live with is an understatement, but I am reminded that the difficulty is coming from one source, and one source only…
The meanings I am assigning to the events that are driving those emotions.
Does that sound crazy… because it did to me. When I first learned that truth, it drove me nuts… like it really pissed me off.
Once you realize that you have a choice in how you choose to interpret ANY event in your life, then you are faced with the truth that your choice means you are responsible for the meanings you attach to events, and for the emotions that you feel.
When you understand that every emotion is a choice (no matter how instinctive it feels) then you begin to realize just how different the universe is from the one you thought you were living in.
You don’t have to like it, but the only way you can change is by accepting it. If you have no control, then you are a puppet of the world. If you choose to take control then reality becomes how you decide to interpret it.
But make no mistake – choosing responsibility for your interpretations and your emotions will demand from you a blistering self honesty, a determination like nothing you’ve ever experienced, and no matter how strong you are, it will bring you to your knees.
But how long you choose to stay there, is really up to you (and me). It always has been.
It’s just that sometimes, rising back up means letting go of the lies that have served you.
And that well and truly sucks…
But it’s worth it. I truly believe that it is.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings