There’s a classic old Zen story of a farmer who has a son, and a cow. One day the cow breaks its leg, and all the Farmer’s neighbors come around to offer sympathy, saying how unfortunate it is that the cow broke it’s leg, to which the Farmer replied ‘maybe, maybe not’.
Shortly thereafter, the Emperor’s troops come around looking for cattle, and seeing that the cow has a broken leg, they leave it with the Farmer.
His neighbors all congratulate him on his luck of not having his cow taken, to which he replies… ‘maybe/maybe not’.
A short time after, the cow stumbles into his son, breaking his son’s leg, and the farmer has to take on his son’s duties. The neighbors, unable to comprehend the misfortune of the farmer come around to share their sympathies, and tell him how unlucky he is, to which he simply replies ‘maybe/maybe not’.
Marveling at his attitude, his neighbors walk away, shaking their heads in amazement.
Until the Emperor’s troops come looking for conscripts.
Seeing that the Farmer’s son has a broken leg, they realize that he will not be able to keep up the pace on their march, so they leave him with his Father. Once again, the Farmer’s neighbors come to share in their amazement at how lucky the Farmer is to not lose his son.
Again, despite the protestations of his neighbors that he was very lucky, the farmer continued with his attitude of ‘maybe/maybe not’.
Because he had no way of knowing what the future would bring.
Many of us seem determined to try to predict the future in the way that we observe and draw meaning from the events of the present.
I have been struggling with this a lot while writing this because our faithful SUV is currently sitting in our mechanic's garage, as he struggles to find the cause of the check engine light that refuses to go out, despite all the money and effort I have put into it.
With every question that he texts me, I have to remember the attitude of ‘maybe/maybe not’.
It’s so easy to get dragged into a thought process of worry, concerned about how much it will cost, and if it is even with repairing anymore. While the idea of a new car is exciting, it is also stressful, as finding the right vehicle leads to purchasing, leads to expenses and possible future problems. I find myself being drawn into a thought spiral that does not excite me.
Yet for all I know this could be a cheap repair, or it could lead to a wonderful purchase of a car that is perfect for us. I have no way of knowing, but I have many ways of worrying.
Whenever I find myself struggling with the attitude of maybe/maybe not, I try to remember that it is really an opportunity to examine the emotions that are pulling my thoughts in a different direction.
As usual, given my upbringing, there are thoughts of scarcity and doubt, the fear of making a mistake and of regretting a choice in the future.
Yet in truth, I have no way of knowing how this all works out.
My worries and my fears are clouding my judgment, making me afraid of what could be, rather than excited about what might possibly be.
The attitude of maybe/maybe not is not a refuge from the storm, but rather reward for the courage it takes to trust not necessarily in the future, but in your own ability to be okay with whatever the future will bring.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings