A Sense of Who You Are
If you’ve ever met someone like this, you might not have known what it was, but you knew something was different.
Maybe it was the way that they stayed on purpose when everyone else was swayed to and fro by the opinion of others, or maybe it was that look in their eye that told you they knew where they were going, what they were doing, and most importantly, why they were doing it.
They probably stood out, because they are unlike most people in the crowd.
That’s not to say they are the easiest person to be around. The person with a stronger sense of themselves is often someone who doesn’t need the good opinion of others, so they stand out because they are willing to share their opinions openly.
That’s not to say they are unkind, but they can seem outspoken, creating the envy and jealousy of those who wish they could be so bold, when in fact they are being nothing of the sort – they are just being themselves.
But that kind of authenticity can be difficult, if you are the kind of person who doesn’t have a strong enough sense of self.
Which isn’t to say that it’s your fault, because most likely it isn’t. So many of us were taught as children that we needed to stay ‘within the pack, not stand out, don’t be different’.
Although we might have wanted to shine, we were taught to ‘not get ideas’ and to ‘be respectful’, never asking the difficult questions. Worst of all, we were taught that to believe we were special was to put ourselves above others, not realizing that everyone is special, and that different does not mean less or more, it’s just different.
And that your value is incredible, just like everyone else’s.
Yet we live in a world where we are taught that we are never going to be enough. From the cars we drive to the places we live, from the clothes we wear to the money we make; our society is determined to make us feel less in one way or another, and to take from you that powerful spark of being your own person, knowing your own worth, and have a stronger sense of yourself.
Because once you know who you are, the rest of the world ceases to have such control over you.
Of course that doesn’t mean that you don’t follow the rules, but it means you are no longer afraid of the opinions of others. As you become more secure in who you are, you find that you need less, and can do more.
Obstacles which seemed impervious now are just questions to be solved. Suddenly your vision shifts from that is in front of you to that which is before you, knowing where you want to go, and feeling in your soul that it is where you are going to be.
And that kind of determination can be difficult for those who do not share your strength, nor your vision.
Which is ok, because the stronger you become in yourself, the less their opinions will affect you, and the less they can hurt you.
When someone can no longer influence you, you can be at peace in their presence, no matter what they feel about you. You can extend to them mercy and understanding, even though they may never understand why you do.
Because true inner strength brings peace, and peace is the absence of fear.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings