Giving Yourself Grace.
I feel like I’m in the middle of a ‘divine storm’ right now, where so many of my weaknesses and failings are all coming to the forefront, raising their heads out of their particular little foxhole and taking shots at me.
Have you ever had that – where you feel pulled in so many different directions that it’s hard to stay focused on anything because you are constantly trying to put out fires that spring up faster than you can put them out?
I once described it as ‘juggling hand grenades’.
Because a lot of the time, it feels like if something falls, life as I know it will end. Yet if I examine these particular grenades, I can realize that none of them would actually be ‘life threatening’, meaning actually causing physical damage unto death.
They have the potential to cause some very uncomfortable situations, but nothing that would kill me.
Yet in my mind, I see them as things that could.
And in a moment of clarity this morning, while trying for what must be a least the 1000th time to think my way through a situation, I realized that I was expecting nothing but harsh judgment, and to be shown no evidence of mercy or kindness. It was as if all my mind could see was the worst possible outcome to everything, even before it had occurred.
And I realized I was not leaving any room for mercy, or the concept of ‘Grace’.
I don’t necessarily mean that in a religious sense, more in the aspect of receiving kindness that you do not feel you deserve. Often when I see something that I have done incorrectly, or imperfectly, I see only the negative outcomes, the worst possibilities, an absolute implacable disregard of mercy, and the outcome that fills me full of dread.
Yet rarely in life has this happened, except in some very extreme circumstances.
Because unless the person is a megalomaniac, or a narcissist, most human beings realize that it can be hard to be human. We all come complete with our own issues, traumas, weaknesses and failings. The more we are willing to accept our own faults, the more we are willing to accept and work through the faults of other.
Because ‘grace’ is really accepting that we all fall, and we all deserve some measure of kindness when we do.
So the next time you find yourself being too hard on yourself, or only seeing the worst possible outcome, I invite you to stop for a moment and consider that grace, or kindness, is one of our most enduring human traits.
It’s what binds our souls together and makes possible both our personal happiness, and the growth of our civilization. A world devoid of kindness would never succeed.
But this race of humans is bound by it, and bound to use it.
Grace, or kindness, is something that we should always be willing to extend, because one day, we may find ourselves in desperate need of its application.
When that time comes for you, I hope you will find a wellspring of kindness flowing unto you washing away your pain, and giving you the strength and courage you need to go forward into your future.
We all fall, and we all have it in our power to assist someone in standing back up.
So I ask you to go forward with grace and kindness for all.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings