The Struggles We All Face.
Somehow over the past few days, I found a new addiction. I say somehow because I still can’t tell you how I got to the web page that led me down this particular rabbit hole.
It was early in the morning, that time when my brain is somewhat awake and yet still finding it’s rhythm, and I must have clicked on a link somewhere that took me to a unique page. It was about a therapist who (with full knowledge and permission) has made a podcast of some of her sessions with her clients.
Does that sound wrong? It did at first to me.
Please understand this clearly. These recordings are edited so that unless you actually knew the people involved by their voices, you would never know who they are. The couples in therapy KNOW that the session will be turned into a podcast, and have bravely given their permission for these recording to be shared in the hope that we can all learn from them.
I intensely respect their courage and honesty, and am deeply grateful for their willingness to bring into the light that which so many of us keep desperately hidden away in the dark.
They reveal their problems, and in this case, their more intimate problems.
Because in this age of perfection by social media, our perspective on problems has been distorted out of all semblance of reality. We see perfect couples, with perfect bodies, and perfect lives with their perfect bank accounts and perfect relationships.
In response to this, we judge ourselves against their fraudulent façade and find ourselves failing in our faith, our finances, our fitness and our families.
Until someone brave enough comes forward, to drop all the pretense, and been seen for who they really are. Flawed, failing, fearful, and very, very human.
I’ve listened to 5 episodes of this podcast since discovering it, and each has left me deeply moved. My heart has wept with compassion for these brave souls, as they share their deepest pains and weaknesses. I’ve marveled at the experience of their therapist, who has tried her very best to build a bridge of understanding and communication between people who seem so very torn apart.
And I’ve also realized with a greater understanding that all of us, no matter the façade, have our problems.
While my problems may not manifest in the same way that theirs do, I have my own significant struggles. I’ve tried to share those to some degree within this work, so that you might see that I am sharing the truths I have discovered out of my own pain, my own trials, my own frustrations.
Because I deeply believe that we have hidden far too many of our human truths behind our fear of appearing imperfect, and the belief that we are not enough because of our imperfections. And that is causing us, as a society, so much pain and suffering . Because your trials are not a sign that you are unworthy, they are a sign that you are human.
So today, I ask you to forgive yourself for your struggles.
You are not required to be perfect, because that’s a standard to which no of us can ever ascend. All that can be asked of you is to be trying, every day, to be the most authentic version of the best of you that you can be.
And you don’t owe that to anyone else. You owe the best version of you to yourself.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings