In Scriptarum Veritas… (in writing, there is truth).
Back when I started this work, I had no idea where I was going with this. Honestly, I’m still not sure. Some people have recommended a book, others a Podcast. Who knows? I don’t as of yet. I didn’t really start with either of those in mind.
I was just trying to make sense of my life, and writing seemed a way to work through some ideas. I didn’t even have a page back then, I was just writing and posting on my personal Facebook page. The pieces were smaller, and I was struggling to find my voice.
And over a year in, and I’m still struggling.
But it has helped me to find some semblance of peace, and has allowed me to unlock parts of me that have been dormant for far too long. It has forced me to challenge many of my deeply held truths, and even more of my deeply ingrained falsehoods; the kind that we carry as a shield for so long that we don’t realize it’s not how things really are. Those are the hardest to put down, because in doing so we have to open up to our vulnerability.
And I hate that with a passion.
Yet in writing, we become vulnerable. We open our minds, and share the things that we feel. Writing allows us to reflect on our lives and our experiences, but at a speed that allows us to process the emotional reactions that we have to any given situation, or thought, or idea. By learning our emotional responses, we come to understand more about ourselves. And the more we understand, the more we can heal.
All this from the written word. Is it any surprise that I married an English major!
So today, I am inviting you to write, but in a very special way. No edits, no backspace, no time to ponder. Just write stream of consciousness. Pick something that hurts, and set a timer, and just write, or type, or if you are very brave ‘dictate’, for about 10 minutes. No stopping, no long deep pauses. Just write what you feel, as dark or scary as it is, and let yourself be honest with the you inside of you.
If that seems daunting, just start and ask yourself questions. If you follow this work, you’ll know that I am a deep believer in questions, because I believe they are the way you move your mind.
So write as fast as you can. Use whatever language seems appropriate, even if it’s not necessarily the words that you would say in public. Ask yourself why it hurts; what the real ‘damage is’; what would your life be like if you could let this go; what needs are you fulfilling as you hold onto these thoughts and feelings; what would you gain if you moved forward; what would you risk; what would you sacrifice?
One of my favorites in coaching is “why are you allowing this to limit you” – have fun with that one.
This isn’t an assignment that you have to share with anyone, unless you feel very, very comfortable doing so. This is just for you, to try to help you move beyond where you are and into a kinder reality where you treat yourself better, and are more loving and gentle with the world. The more raw honesty you bring to this opportunity, the more powerful the outcome will be.
So please, humor me, and spend 10 minutes writing as fast and as hard as you can. When it feels difficult, just write, When you are scared, just write. If the tears flow down your face... just write.
Write until you understand you. And then you can start to heal.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings