The way I see others tells me about myself.
For years, I struggled with being extremely judgmental. Not only with people I knew, but with random strangers, and occasional acquaintances. Not that I would verbalize these judgments, but they were there in the back of my mind.
Almost always these judgments were negative, either assigning people as lower than me so I could feel superior, or believing that they were better than me, reinforcing my secret wound that I was inferior. This was not something I was necessarily aware of; it was something that was occurring deep in my mind, away from immediate examination.
I have mediated rather frequently recently on how judgment creates a statement about someone’s worth or value, while observation and discernment note the same characteristics or actions, but without any inference of value for the person.
As I have worked through my journey of self awareness, I have come to realize that the behaviors I judge in others are often ones that I find abhorrent in myself. In this way, I found a new understanding to parts of my soul that were causing me pain.
The more you dislike yourself, the more you will dislike those around you. The more you judge others for being human, the more you can understand the human frailties in you that frustrate you.
Conversely, the more you come to love and accept yourself as having value and worth, the more you will see that in the people with whom you interact and associate. You will find yourself possessed of a deeper compassion for those around you, even those who frustrate you.
Now, instead of judging the person who stands with a sign on a street corner with derision and scorn, I find myself having compassion, wondering how they came to be at that place, and asking myself what it would really take to make a long lasting change for them. I find myself with greater patience for those who do not treat me with kindness, desiring to understand how I can lift them through our interactions.
This has not come easy, and I still have a long way to go, but I am encouraged by the changes I am making and seeing in myself.
I seek a future where I am filled with understanding, compassion, kindness, patience and ultimately peace.
The way you judge others is a pathway to understanding your own feelings, and ultimately it can help you find peace within your soul, if you desire it.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings