.Do you ever get the feeling that you are a very small fish in a very big pond? Have you ever thought to yourself that no matter how much you do, you’re still going to be caught up in whatever is happening around you, and that no matter how hard you try, the flow of the world will wash over you, and take you where it wants to?
If you’ve ever felt that way, I understand, because there are times when I feel that way too.
Welcome to the Drift.
This is one of the harder things I teach people, because Drift can be a little bit scary. Most human beings live happier when they have a higher degree of certain than uncertainty, because it gives them a sense of control, of safety, and of being confident that they can avoid painful events in the future.
Depending upon how you are wired (or have rewired yourself to be) your tendency to crave certainty and be averse to uncertainty is a powerful force that can keep you up at night, or make you run all day.
And yet, for all that you do, the Drift can just take over and change the flow of your life.
Because we are all stuck in the same river. Sometimes it’s the actions of those in whom we have placed out trust and our confidence, and sometimes it’s the person in the lane next to you on the freeway who thinks that sending their text is more important than your safety. Maybe it’s your boss, your partner, your lover or your friend.
Drift is everything that’s outside of our control that can still impact and change our lives.
And there’s soooo much of it. Over the last year, we’ve all been subjected to one of the biggest drifts many of us have faced in our lifetimes. As the pandemic has changed things all over the world, there isn’t a single one of us who hasn’t been affected in some way.
From our personal health to that of loved ones, from economic turmoil to the disagreements of friends and families.
The drift has taken us places that we’ve never wanted to be.
And it’s been hard to deal with sometimes. The uncertainty can drive you crazy, and the apparent unfairness and callousness of the universe can make you wonder about what is coming next.
Depending upon how you relate to uncertainty, this last year and beyond could have sent you into a deep funk, or have given you the opportunity to try life in a different frame of mind.
Because the truth is that although we can’t control the drift, we can prepare for and change how we react when it takes us down a new river of life.
And it starts with realizing how little you actually control anyway.
If you sit down and figure out what in your life you can directly control, what is within your ability to influence, and what is completely outside of your sphere of control or influence (meaning you can’t do anything at all to change it) then you suddenly realize that the few things you can control, or influence, are the things you’ve probably paid less attention to than you could have.
Step one in getting better with the Drift, is changing your focus, and applying your energy to that which is not contained in the drift.
Next time we’ll talk about learning to unlearn your need for control. Because to really become comfortable with the concept of the Drift, you have to take away the fear of it.
And learn to trust in yourself.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings