Dysauthentesia
‘The discomfort in your soul when you are acting in opposition to who you really are’
I know – it’s not a word you recognize… but I’m pretty sure that when you read the definition, something in you resonated. Maybe it was that time you let someone’s opinion over-rule yours, even though you knew yours was right.
Or maybe it was the time you didn’t call someone on something that you knew was untrue, knowing that to do so would start a fight you weren’t able to face at that time.
Or maybe it was the day you made a choice that you didn’t want to, letting their feelings be more important than your own.
Every word starts its life as a moment of inspiration, and this one is no different. I’ve been trying for the longest time to find one word to describe what I see as the biggest problem I help people with when coaching.
Because despite there being many situations, and even more variations, most of them come down to the same few problems, the same deep and abiding issues.
But I hadn’t comes across a word that summed this one up, until I made the word up myself.
Because I‘ve seen time and time again that when we act in a way that is inauthentic, we’re sacrificing a little piece of our soul. Sometimes there is a good reason, and it’s ok to take the hit, but most of the time the only reason we’re doing it is because where we are, and who we are with, is not a place where we can be completely who we are.
And so we start to lie to others, but most of all to ourselves.
Because it’s demeaning to our own sense of value to be someone other than who we really are. It’s like we’re saying that who we are is not good enough, or not strong enough, to be allowed to be seen in this situation, or in this way.
The longer you tell yourself that you are not valuable enough to be authentic, you’ll start to believe that lie, until it becomes a part of you.
And then Dysauthentesia kicks in.
It manifests in many different ways. It can create depression and anxiety, or sadness and melancholy. For many, it’s that subconscious nagging sensation that things are not right, and that you are silently crying on the inside, desperate to be real to who you are and what you know.
Eventually left long enough, Dysauthentesia will rob you of your happiness and your sense of self.
The days will seem long, and filled with shadow.
The truly scary thing about this condition is that sometimes we believe that we are acting in complete authenticity, not realizing that the programming of our childhood or our history has caused us to believe or accept things which on the surface seem so right, but deep inside are not in full congruency with our soul.
These are the actions and beliefs that silently rob us of our happiness; supposedly bringing joy while only delivering sadness.
And the only real cure, is to learn to be yourself.
Becoming ‘Authentically You’ isn’t easy, and it takes some time. Learning to recognize your reactions, your thoughts and your fears can be breathtaking, and also heartbreaking.
But once you find out who you are deep down in your soul, and make the decision to be who you are, peace will find you, and joy will surround you.
Because who you are is not only enough, but it’s wonderful.
Just be you, and the universe will follow.
(And yes I just Googled Dysauthentesia, and Google has no history of the word, so I literally just invented it and purchased the .com domain for it.)
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings