Life is Enough.
I had the opportunity yesterday (Sunday) to help someone who’s daughter is struggling. As most later year teenagers do, she was struggling to find a sense of purpose and identity, especially since she had recently undergone a faith transition that had left a void of self definition in her life.
Overwhelmed and uncertain, the daughter was trying to find answers in a world that seemed full of possibilities.
I think we’ve all been there at some time or another.
The answer I gave her was probably not one she was expecting, and that in itself carried a lesson that I think I would like to share today.
As I counseled with the Mom, I suggested to her that she didn’t need to try to find a sense of value or direction for her daughter; rather she would try to help her daughter understand that we don’t need to be doing something or being something to have a sense of value in the world.
When we understand one simple truth, and let that flow across our soul like the dew rising in the morning, we’ll understand all we need to know to give ourselves an undeniable sense of self that needs no external reinforcement.
That truth is simply this: That ‘Life is Enough’.
If you are alive, then you have value. Sure, we don’t necessarily do a great job of communicating that sometimes, but just because we don’t speak a truth often enough doesn’t make it a lie.
Being alive, being a human being, being a consciousness that can grow, and adapt, and wonder, and love and share is all the value you’ll ever need.
And once you have a true sense of your own value, everything else in the world suddenly falls into place.
Because once your sense of significance (value) tops out at enough, you can face so many things in this world without worrying about being hurt by them. Failure becomes a factor of the situation, rather than a judgment on your worth.
A breakup becomes a realization of an incompatibility, rather than a statement that you weren’t good enough. Someone’s abuse of you becomes an expression of their emotional sickness, rather than a judgment of your significance.
Once you truly know your own worth, without regard to any and all external value structures, you become immune to so many of the problems of the world.
And yes, I know it’s a lot harder than it sounds, but it starts by going inward, and figuring out what you really feel about yourself, and then working on that. Truly spending time inside your soul is the greatest work you will ever do, for yourself and everyone around you. Once you know you, then you can begin to move yourself to a place of happiness and joy.
But I said there was a lesson in the answer, and I wanted to make sure I was sharing that with you as well.
Because a lot of the time, we get caught up in trying to find the answers to our questions, but we never take the time to question the basic premise of the questions we are asking.
Instead of asking ‘what is my purpose’ maybe we need to spend time asking ourselves why we think we need one. Rather than asking ourselves what should I be, we could be asking what brings me joy.
In place of ‘Am I Enough’, we should be asking why we need to judge ourselves.
Because your value in this world is not up for debate. You are you, and that is way more than enough.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings