I am the luckiest of men.
It’s been a staple of late night comedians for many, many years. The one joke that always gets a laugh, and never falls flat. When you get right down to it, it’s never actually funny, because it highlights the disunity of families, and the difficulty that people have finding peace in complex relationships.
But as long as there have been people, comedians have been targeting the one person who never seems to get any respect.
Their mother-in-law.
I honestly think that most of the time (note that I said most, not all) it’s more a reflection on the person who is making the joke rather than the woman who is being referenced.
I can’t imagine it’s easy seeing your child married to someone who may not treat them the way that you think they should, especially when you gave birth to that child, and sacrificed as much as you could give in their upbringing.
I’m sure my mother-in-law had her concerns when I married into the family. I know some of my wife’s sisters did. :)
But for all of her concerns, I can testify to you truthfully that my mother-in-law has become one of my very best friends.
I wish you could meet her, and come to love her in the way that I do. She’s been a part of my life for over 24 years now, and I can’t express in words just how amazing she is.
And not just in her greatest moments, but in her darkest.
I have seen her survive things in life that I’m not sure I would have made it through. Her strength, her resilience in terms of her goodness and her determination are beyond inspiring.
I have seen her hit with bombs over these years; painful experiences that would have crushed most people, and yet she has stood strong and carried on through it all.
She’s even learned to put up with me. :)
I have come to cherish the times that she and I talk. We come from so very different worlds, such diverse backgrounds that sometimes I feel like I am once again an alien (I’m an immigrant, so I was once an alien, albeit a friendly one) when we talk.
We see things from such different perspectives, that on some of our most basic comprehensions of reality we stand in stark contrast. I am sure she wonders what her daughter did in marrying me.
Yet never have I felt anything but love and acceptance from her.
So today, I wish to pay tribute to an amazing woman, who I am so proud and humbled to call my friend. I won’t use her name, I’ll simply call her Mom, like I always do.
We talked for last night for hours, and though I am sure she wishes she could understand me, I am awed and amazed at the patience and compassion she extends to me. I’m so grateful for her presence in my life.
Every day, every conversation is a wonder…
and I am truly blessed.
(P.S. She loves sunflowers, so today's picture is just for her)
Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings