Blind Though I Could See.
What do you see when you close your eyes? A long time ago, I wrote about how I could see my vision when I closed my eyes, and it guided me and gave meaning to my words and my actions.
Yet for a while now, my vision has been clouded, difficult to see and even more difficult to follow. I’ve struggled to understand the most simple reference of where I am, let alone where I am going.
And my lack of a clear vision has shown up in all aspects of my life.
Yet in the confusion and the turmoil of the last few months of my life, where many things I had taken for granted have changed beyond recognition, I had not emotionally realized that my vision was crumbling around me.
I was so busy looking at myself, and all the areas in which I was failing, that I failed to stop and evaluate myself in the way I help others.
Sometimes we have to get back to the basics, to our foundation, and start from the bottom all over again.
And in doing so, I realized that not only had my vision become stale, because I had failed to update it for the things that had changed in my life, but that my focus had become splintered and scattered.
I was letting too many small things, individual hurts and emotional wounds, grow out of proportion and cloud my judgment.
Although I had sight, I was blind as to the direction I needed to move in.
Once my vision was lost, so went my motivation, and I was left to using willpower to give me the strength to keep going, which is never a good idea. Our willpower has limits, and eventually, no matter how hard we try, there is never enough willpower to make up for a lack of vision.
The small details start to get lost, and before you know it, you’re adrift in an endless sea of possibilities, wondering how you ended up wherever this is.
So it falls to me now to find a new vision, a better direction, a clearer understanding.
Which, as you can probably well imagine, is a lot harder than it sounds. How do you find the time, let alone the clarity, to restructure your future when you are so busy trying to keep your head above water in the now?
Where, while juggling the roles of husband, father, son-in-law, brother-in-law, uncle, Doctor, business owner, teacher, entrepreneur, coach and writer of a daily Facebook page, do I find the time to discover inspiration from the infinite future of all possibilities?
Simple answer – I make time.
Maybe it’s getting up earlier, and spending time alone with the birds in our garden as the suns rises. Maybe it’s taking our crazy 8 month old puppy out for more walks, and leaving the digital world behind so I can listen to the quiet whisperings from my mind.
Maybe it’s seeking out places that inspire me, and listening to the words of mentors who bring peace and clarity to my soul.
Maybe it’s in the conversations with good friends, who see in me things I cannot see in myself.
Where do you find your vision?
Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings