Surviving the fractured path.
It’s amazing how we seem to have an idea about how the future is supposed to be. Or about our life should turn out, or what we should do for a living, or how we should make our impact in the world, or what kind of car we should drive, or how many kids we should or shouldn’t have etc.
There’s an old saying attributed to Einstein which goes something like this: “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans”.
Because rarely does life work out the way that we expect.
And sometimes that realization occurs early in life and often as we grow older. When somehow or other we find ourselves in the place and time that we never quite imagined we would be.
A place where some things don’t add up, and are probably never going to, and we realize that something that we thought very important is not going to turn out the we really want it to.
The Golden Path which led to our house of dreams is fractured, and we realize that what we were hoping for is unlikely to materialize.
Surviving the reality of the fractured path is not easy, but it can be done. It starts by analyzing what you’ve really lost, which is usually your hope for a certain feeling. Anything we want in life is not about the thing, but about how we think acquiring or receiving or achieving this thing will make us feel.
To move beyond the fracture, you have to ask yourself why only that thing could bring you what you want to feel?
Because the chances are that you could feel that way about something else or someone else if you decided to.
And this is where the pushback begins :-)
Time after time I hear from people that they have to have a certain thing or be a certain thing in order to feel good about themselves, or feel like they belong, or feel like they are worthy, or feel like they like they are enough. People seem to believe that feelings are dependent upon a certain formula, and that only those specific ingredients will do.
It’s always fun to watch them when they find out that the truth is not quite what appears to be.
Because there are many avenues to arrive at a certain feeling. Things don’t have to be a specific way for us to experience a certain emotion, we can learn to view reality in such a way that we can find the feelings that we desire in the events that are occurring. It’s not easy, and it takes some practice, but it can be done.
Once you understand that reality is far more subjective than you have ever imagined, you will realize that there never really was a path that you had to follow.
There was simply your misunderstanding about how to get to where you wanted to feel.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings