Being Grateful Before The Lesson Is Over.
Life is a school, but not like any other. It’s often said that in school you learn the material and then are tested, but in life you are tested and then learn the material. And while I agree with that, I think there is also a lesson to be learned ‘in’ the testing, if we are patient, and willing to let go of our ego.
It’s not easy, and it’s certainly not something I’m even proficient at, but I can say that I am trying to be better at it.
And it’s being grateful for the test, during the test.
Because let’s face it, we’ve all gone through hard times in our lives only to recognize later that the growth and changes we experienced during that trial helped to make us a better person.
Sometimes we even learned a new skill, or took ourselves to a level of ability that far surpassed anything we were capable of before. But usually the only way to reach those new heights is to endure the pain and agony of the hard times.
And hard times are not easy.
I can look back at some of the tough times in my life and honestly say that I am grateful for the trial that I endured, but I certainly wasn’t grateful at the time. Compared to some my life has been difficult, compared to many it has been very blessed.
I try not to compare or judge my life against anyone else’s, because that judgment serves no good for any of us. I think in that way I have progressed, and yet in others, I am still painfully lacking.
Because I struggle to be grateful when I realize that the hard time is a time of growth.
And I realize that I’m still trying to reach that level of spiritual growth, and there are days when it seems I am further away than ever. I get that it’s my ego that’s in play, bemoaning my hardship and feeling that in some way I am being mistreated or denied.
My only saving grace is that I can honestly say that my times of complaining are less, and while I’m not necessarily at a state of gratitude during the trial, I am able to work through the difficulties with a sense of acceptance.
And right now, I think I will have to be happy with that.
But I look forward to the day, hopefully, when I will have matured enough in my soul that I will be grateful for the test even though I have not yet reaped the benefit of the lesson. I think that requires more faith that I am capable of right now, or maybe it’s just that I haven’t learned to let go of enough things yet.
I guess I need more lessons, unfortunately.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
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