The Trouble With Your Unprocessed Trauma.
There are so many things we don’t talk about. Maybe it’s because we’re scared to seem vulnerable to others, or afraid of looking weak or foolish.
Sometimes our traumas are so deep that we just don’t want to dredge up the past one more time, because the pain never seems to change, and going back to those memories gives us only one outcome of which we can be certain.
It’s going to hurt, a lot.
We all experience trauma in our lives and most of the time we find a way to “get by” after the experience, but getting by is not living life in a way that produces feelings of gratitude and a profound sense of purpose.
“Getting by” is the death knell of passion, principle and purpose, and leads to a lifetime of quiet pain and desperation if allowed to define and determine our ongoing existence.
“Getting by” is its own form of emotional post traumatic stress disorder.
I spoke today with two different people about the unresolved trauma in the lives of those close to them. They told similar stories, of painful experiences that came to define the ongoing actions of people whom they loved, but who could not fully love them back because the pain they carried was distorting their lives into corrosive caricatures of the people they used to be.
Unprocessed trauma is an indiscriminate killer.
So why don’t people resolve their trauma? If it’s so destructive, why is it that people carry these feelings around with them for the rest of their lives? That’s a tough question to answer, but the more I work with people, the patterns become clearer before my eyes.
Because some people are completely unaware of how they still carry trauma within them, and so walk through the world in pain without understanding. Some people have a suspicion of why they hurt, and sense that something is wrong, but are unable to identify the cause of their pain.
And then there are those who know the cause of their pain, but are afraid to go deeper one more time in a attempt to heal that wound which has festered for far too long.
But there is a way out.
The pathway leading out of trauma is never easy, but it can be done. It usually requires tears, time, the courage to open your heart and the trust in your guide to lead you through the darkness.
But it can be done.
If you are suffering from a wound that refuses to heal, please know that there is hope for happiness in the future. For while you may not see the pathway before you right now, I promise you that you can find peace within you.
If I can be of any help, please feel free to reach out.
I am here for you.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings