Life is the opportunity, not the certainty.
I saw a picture tonight that stopped me cold. It was of a woman who had just given birth, cradling her newborn child. It looked like every normal birth picture, except that the mother’s head was shaved bald.
At 7 months into her pregnancy, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, and started on chemo therapy. In the midst of the beauty of the birth of a new life, a cloud of darkness had come to reduce the sunshine.
And I wept at the sight. I hope and pray that she will be ok.
I learned on the very first day of fatherhood that I should never take anything for granted. At less than 6 hours old, our oldest son was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect, and we were informed that he would require open heart surgery.
I can’t fully express my feelings from that day in language, because I don’t think there is a way to describe a fear that raw, a terror so complete and an incredible feeling of helplessness. We had to trust our son to the care of those who were trained in miracles.
And we received a miracle in return.
But sometimes those miracles don’t come, and the darkness falls like rain. No matter our hopes, our prayers, our best efforts and the dedication of everything we have, life can be a difficult experience. Sometimes the greatest desires of our hearts are unfulfilled, and we are left to wonder and weep at the abject cruelty of an uncaring universe.
And we realize that our illusion of certainty is no certainty at all.
In fact, the longer I live and observe this strange journey that we call life, I become more convinced that the only certainties are uncertainties. That the only guarantee I will ever have is that goodness and grief are likely to find me in equal measure. My realization should be that life is indiscriminate with both its kindness and its cruelty.
I begin to suspect that the pathway to peace is not in the absence of suffering, nor the eternal possession of joy, but rather in a deep sense of gratitude for the experience of everything.
And it appears to me that within that sense of gratitude is also the secret to finding an acceptance of myself. With a full knowledge of my facets and flaw, strengths and sadness, I seek to balance the equation of the judgment of myself, and if I am to be grateful for a universe full of darkness and light, then maybe I can also accept a self that is also.
For there are no absolutes to be found in this realm, although there may be further on.
For now, it behooves me to try to find what peace I can in the acceptance of all that is. Knowing that there will be both joy and grief, laughter and loss, happiness and heartache and sadness and smiles, I desire to choose the joy of embracing all that I can experience in all the days that are in front of me.
For each day is a gift. Nothing is certain. All I have, is now.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings