Complaining isn’t a strategy, and being snarky isn’t a tactic.
“You know why they say hell is never ending? Because no matter how bad it gets, some idiot can always make it worse by complaining.” – Jordan Peterson.
I have this recurring fear that at the end of my life, there will be some accountant waiting for me, with a detailed breakdown of how I spent my days :) How much time did I spend helping people, how much of my youth was spent over a pool table or a video game, and specifically how much time did I waste complaining about things?
If you were to ask me to divide my life into sections, probably one of the most profound delineations would be the age at which I realized that complaining wasn’t an effective strategy, and I made the conscious decision to try to stop.
It’s not that we don’t have bad days, or that people aren’t difficult, or that the universe doesn’t sometimes play a really cruel game, because all of those are true.
But unless you are talking to someone who can actually do something about it, complaining is just massaging your own ego.
And the only outcome is that you’ve wasted time you could have spent doing something else, and you’ve attracted even more things to complain about. If you don’t believe me then try it – complain about things, and suddenly you’ll find more things to complain about.
Complaining gets you nowhere, and it gets you nothing. Complaining will NEVER help you progress on your pathway to peace.
And being snarky is just a way to spread your pain around.
I’ve never met anyone who was full of snark who didn’t secretly feel bad about themselves in some way or another.
Think about this for a moment. When you are truly happy, you want to share that happiness.
After I completed my skydive in 2017, I was so happy that I had overcome my fear that I just wanted to share my happiness with everyone. I didn’t matter if I didn’t know you, I just wanted you to feel as good as I felt. It was an amazing sensation, and one I hope to feel again after my next jump.
Whenever I feel the urge to be snarky and say something unkind about someone, I try to ask myself what it is about myself that I am unhappy with. In truth, there is always something.
The question is whether I will be honest with myself, and allow myself to confront that truth, rather than diverting my attention with an unkind remark.
Someone who complains or is snarky is someone who truly hasn’t found peace within their soul. I know they can be hard to be around sometimes, but instead of our scorn or derision, they need and deserve our love, our compassion and our kindness.
May our light lead them through their darkness, and into a brighter tomorrow.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings