6 Months of Reflections
When I started these reflections, 6 months ago today, I had no idea how much this would come to mean to me. It was a chance to write, to express ideas, and maybe bring some light to other people.
It’s harder than I thought it would be, finding the right words to use. Sometimes the words just pour forth from my fingers on the keyboard, like I am remembering something that was whispered to me a few seconds ago.
Sometimes the reflection is a fight, with multiple starts and erases, changes in tone and context, and it can take hours to finally feel the thread of the piece. These are usually the ones that seem to be destined for a reader specifically, because the comments will reflect how much the words meant to someone at this time in their life.
Most of the time, the picture accompanying the written words comes after, but occasionally I will see a picture, and the emotions provoked seem to have their own song, and the lyrics come to me with a specific tone and feeling.
I try not to get caught up in the number of likes and comments, but I’ll be honest and say that I’m human, and sometimes it is gratifying to see positive comments. I’ve given up trying to understand what resonates with people.
Sometimes I have written a piece that I personally loved, only to have very few responses. Occasionally I have written something that I felt was clumsy and awkward, and people respond in both likes and comments way more than I expected.
It’s kind of humbling that way, and my sweet wife finds joy in reminding me that my role is the writer, the thinker, the communicator. It’s not about me.
Honestly, when I began this journey, it was about me. I wrote things that I found pleasing. It changed when I started to hear from people that this work was affecting them and making a difference in their lives.
Since then, when I write, I try to imagine you and I sitting quietly together. I try to feel in my heart what I would like to share with you that will serve you in the greatest way I know, which is to share what small wisdoms I have gathered over the last 30 years of trying to understand and heal myself.
I don’t know where this work is going. I honestly don’t. I can see several pathways going forwards, and we’ll just have to see which ones we take together. Several people have suggest a published work, some have asked for a workbook based on the reflections. I still feel that it’s too early, but maybe in the future something will happen.
For now, today, I just want to send you my heartfelt thanks for being a part of this journey with me. The thoughts and comments you’ve shared mean so much to me. I am grateful for your presence in my life, and for your support of whatever this is.
I’m going to keep writing, because I feel drawn to it. I hope you’ll keep reading and commenting.
Thank you. You mean the world to me.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings