The enemy I see every day.
I’ve tried fighting him. He’s tough. I’ve gone out of my way to avoid him, but he’s still here. I’ve used every devious, fiendish, cunning, low and dirty trick I know to beat him.
And it’s not enough. He’s still here.
I see him first thing in the morning, and he’s there when I try to sleep at night. He’s relentless in his efforts to bring me down, and he’s always ready with a comment when I make a mistake.
Honestly, he scares me. He constantly tries to overcome me, especially in my weaker moments. Small suggestions, sudden reactions, irrational judgments and duplicitous manipulation are the weapons he brings to bear in his never ending desire to be free.
In times of fear, loneliness and frustration I am tempted to turn to him for solace, and he is always ready to attend me if I lose sight of who he is. The power that he offers is enormous, tempting and all so easy to put on, and so very difficult to take off.
All of us have a dark side, that part of our soul that desires to protect our ego at all costs. The ‘shadow’ in our soul that can be so destructive, divisive and dangerous.
If you think you don’t have one, you have either reached the pinnacle of human spirituality, or are completely unaware. Honestly, the statistics are not on your side in the question.
Exploring our shadow is a painful journey, as we uncover the pain in our past, and move beyond that which hurts us. The realization that we can be a terrible person if we choose is a hard truth to face.
From my experience, the only way to win against your shadow is to accept that he (or she) is there. Learn why you react the way you do when your shadow is released. Then try to change the vulnerabilities and feelings that trigger the shadow.
This is not an easy or a quick proposition. The journey of awareness takes a long time, and the pain you will uncover along the way is difficult to endure.
But there will come a time when you and your shadow are friends. You will come to embrace your shadow for the scared child that they are.
Only by loving your enemy can you truly overcome them.
Only by loving yourself can you truly find peace.
And then you will awaken in a very different universe of possibilities.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings