Until you make peace with yourself, everyone else owns a piece of your happiness.
I used to think that I attracted those who had been emotionally impacted, or to use another word – damaged. Wherever I go, I seem to find people who have been hurt, abused, scarred and mistreated. They share their stories, and I weep to see the pain that they carry inside.
Over time, I came to understand that it wasn’t that I attract those people, it’s that there are LOT of them out there, and I was just paying attention.
Pain and struggle are not the burden of the few, rather they are the hallmark of what it means to be human. No life is without trial. It can manifest in different ways, different agonies, a different flavor of hell, but the truth is that we all experience it at some point.
But I think one of the saddest wounds I see time and time again is the damage inflicted, often unknowingly, by a parent who fails to realize the impact of their behavior on a child.
Growing up is hard, and a child who is not afforded the freedom to grow into the person they truly are with acceptance can spend the rest of their life in depression because of who they are not, and despair because of who they think they have become.
When you are not at peace with yourself, this leaves you at the mercy of everyone else’s opinions. The thoughts of those who do not fully know you or understand you can be devastating to your sense of self, leaving you bruised, bleeding and broken emotionally.
The person who knows themselves fully, and has accepted their strengths, their weakness, their history and their future is the person who is at peace, because the opinions of others can no longer impact their sense of who they are.
These are they who are calm in the face of criticism, because their self opinion is not longer at the mercy of others.
This is a difficult process, that takes time, desire, a willingness to rise after falling and often the help of good people who will tell you the truth with compassion, kindness and honesty.
Although it is a simple concept, it is hard to work through, but it can be done. On the other side of that storm is a peace that surprises all who discover it.
When you make peace with yourself, no one owns your happiness, but you.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings