The Alignment of Light in the Dark.
Life is confusing, isn’t it? Because no matter how well you prepare, or how much experience you have, there are going to be those times when you are walking in darkness.
Not literal darkness, although that can happen as well, but I’m talking about the darkness of direction, when you just can’t work out which way to move forwards, and every direction seems to be the wrong one.
Especially when you are journeying through your own soul.
It never fails to amaze me just how lost we can feel. Over the past 2 years, I’ve been trying to find the proper direction for my life; one that balances my skills with my desire to serve, with a need to provide for my family.
For most of those 2 years, I feel like I’ve been running in different directions, but I keep running into the same type of walls in that darkness. Walls built out of fear, of procrastination, of uncertainty and especially of confusion.
And I struggle to see where I have made any progress.
Yet within that darkness, there are occasional flashes of light, when I feel like I could be on the right path. And very rarely, there comes a moment where the flashes of light align, and I can see somewhat of the pathway forwards.
These alignments usually come as I strive to make a significant jump, and in times when I desperately need to move beyond where I currently am.
I have received such an alignment over the last couple of days.
From three separate, and very disparate sources, I received a flood of understanding. One is a man now in his later years, another a young woman with wisdom beyond her years, and finally a spiritual teacher who has lived a life so very different from anything I could have imagined. I doubt they know of each other, but together, they have helped illuminate my pathway beyond where I am right now.
And to each of them I feel a profound sense of gratitude.
But the philosopher in me struggles to find a sense of meaning in the actuality of the alignment. Is this grace from above, finding something that was always there, my intention drawing things into my orbit, noticing things that were always available, or just a random alignment of the universe? I wish I could stop asking questions and just take things at face value, but unfortunately that is not my way.
Mine is the path of eternal questions, and very little peace.
But although I can question the alignment and it’s source, I can still learn from the wisdom passed on to me through their words.
And I am grateful for their contributions.
In 6 days time, I will have been writing this work for a full year. Whenever you have arrived here, I want you to know that I am so grateful for your presence on this journey. That my path has somehow intersected with yours is such a blessing to me, and I hope you have received something of value that has helped you along your way.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings