You’re born. You live as much time as the Universe decides to give you, and then you die. There’s a myriad of opinions on what happened before, and what happens after. No matter how much somebody swears to you that they ‘know’, they don’t. They might believe, and that’s fine, but no one has ever proved anything more than the fact that what you have is this time, right here, right now.
So why are you wasting your time not living a life that is authentically you.
From the moment you were born, people have tried to fit you into a mold that suited them. Not necessarily because they were bad, but because they didn’t know any better, or maybe they were scared by you becoming your own person. Maybe it’s because they thought they were doing their best, and so they tried to help you see what was ‘right’ for you, which usually coincided with what they wanted.
But none of it honored the person that you really are inside.
So through all the years, your uniqueness has been buried under the expectations and instructions of others. Maybe you were encouraged to shine in a way that benefited others, but chances are you were never given the space to find out who you truly are, and what ‘living your best life’ actually looks like for you.
I can understand if you feel angry about that. I really can.
But in the end, being angry is never going to get you anywhere worthwhile. Yes people may have been cruel to you, and yes, maybe the universe dumped you in a difficult situation. Take it from someone who spent way too long being angry with the universe and demanding some kind of recompense. The universe doesn’t care, and it doesn’t give do-overs.
In the words of Eminem, ‘you get one shot, one opportunity’ to be you.
The interesting thing about that statement is that people often misunderstand what ‘being you’ actually means. It doesn’t mean that you need to have yourself “figured out”, or have some magical understanding. “Being you” is as much about the journey of discovery as it is the point of arrival at the platform of authenticity.
Finding you and being you can be both the moment of discovery and the act of creation.
Because one of the little secrets that seems to get lost along the “pathway of discovery” is that there is no one pathway, there is no one specific recipe. Part of you being you is the conscious act of self creation, as you get to decide who you are going to be. We all have skills, we all have interests, but at our core we are conscious beings who can choose the direction in which we travel.
And the activities we perform along the way.
I say this to help you understand that finding yourself isn’t about digging some buried treasure and only being able to access that which “already is”. What I’m trying to help you see is that you get to determine who you are. You don’t have to accept anybody’s definition, and you don’t even have to accept the thought that there is only one definition for you.
Finding you can sometimes be the act of creating you. While that difference sounds like an exercise in semantics, it’s actually the freedom to live life on your own terms, and to decide your place and your progress in the universe.
So why would you blindly accept someone else’s definition of who you are?
In my 52 years on this planet, I’ve had a lot of people try to define me for me. I don’t think any of them were malicious in their intentions, even the ones who made things difficult for me. I just think it’s an incredible act of faith to give another human being the freedom to find out who they are without any reference to your own needs and desires.
I think it’s even more courageous to give that same freedom to yourself.
Because so many of us like to “stay within the pack” and live a life that is safe and simple. I’m not here to tell you that’s wrong. If that works for you, and that makes you happy, then absolutely 100% do that thing. What I’m trying to help you understand is that if that doesn’t work for you, that’s okay too.
The last thing anybody should do is tell you how to spend your time.
Because time is all we really have. It’s the great equalizer. My year is the same length as your year. We may have different capabilities, options, relationships and understandings, but in the end my time is as precious as your time. I have no right to tell you had to spend yours, and the inverse is equally is true.
A person’s life is their own. You should have no expectations around that, because when you apply your expectations to somebody else’s life, you are attempting to steal their time away from them.
Your life is your own. When someone tries to tell you who you should be, they are in effect trying to steal your time from you. Please don’t let them do that. Your life is precious, your time is precious, and you should use it in the way that you think best serves your principles.
It’s the only way you are going to be truly happy.
May you find yourself through this journey of life, and may you find peace in your discovery and your creation.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings