Everyone likes to preach about getting out of our comfort zones, but rarely do people tell us just how uncomfortable that can be. Over the last two and a half months I've been pushing myself to do things that I would not normally do, and let me tell you – it sucks.
I’ve been scared, wanted to run away, and found myself wanting to throw up after making a certain phone call or sending a certain text.
Or pressing the publish button to put my first ‘podcast’ out into the world like I did yesterday.
But over the last few months I’ve come to some pretty solid realizations that in order for my life to change, I have to be the one to change it. And sometimes making those changes is not only uncomfortable, but depending upon my limiting beliefs, it can actually feel immoral or unkind. Please understand that I’m not doing anything that I think could be considered overtly “wrong”…
It’s just that sometimes we are programmed to think that looking after ourselves is actually a form of taking from others.
So while some of the “different things” that I’ve been doing have made me feel uncomfortable because I of how I think it would be perceived by others, some of those different things have actually been difficult because of my own perception of the morality of the action I’ve been taking.
And I’m guessing if you’re the kind of person who reads this work, you’ve probably felt the same way at some time.
I’m pretty sure that there are some of you out there who struggle putting yourself first, because you’ve always been taught that others are more important. Even to do something that doesn’t hurt somebody else, but elevates your needs above theirs, can feel like an immoral act. So let me share with you a small revelation about life I had recently that has helped me to work through some of the thoughts I’ve been having while doing the “different things” that are making a change in my life.
When it comes to life, the rules are made up and the points don’t matter.
Please don’t misunderstand what I mean by that. I’m not saying that morality isn’t important, because it is. I’m not saying that whatever faith you may or may not have isn’t important, because if it’s giving you a sense of joy or purpose or peace then it has value in your life. But so many times we are operating within certain boundaries that we think we have to stay within in order to be a “good person”, when really there’s nothing wrong with looking out for ourselves.
My guess is that you are a good person already. Not because of how you are behaving, but because of the goodness in your heart. I have found that my writing is kind of a litmus test, and bad people don’t tend to read it.
So guess what, you’ve already passed
I’m pretty confident that if you and I sat down and had a conversation, before long we would figure out something that you could do for yourself that would make your life better but that you’ve been holding back on it because of the fear of what other people might think, or even worse, the fear of how you might feel. Maybe you’re just waiting for permission from somebody other than yourself, so that you can take the step forward that could change your life.
Well here’s your permission, and in addition, here’s a friendly word of advice. If you don’t do the different things to make your life different, it’s always going to stay the same.
So I get it if it’s scary, and I get it if it makes you want to throw up or scream. One of the different things that I did a few months ago made me so scared that I was crying, and could barely form words… But I did it. Pushing through that level of fear, and that level of uncomfortable has a powerful effect, because when you break through fear, it comes back as confidence.
And when you break through the lies in your head that are holding you down, you realize that the most authentic form of you is the one that can do the greatest good in the world.
Please do something for you today. If it’s something difficult or something scary, so much the better, but if that’s no where you’re at right now, just do something to celebrate yourself. Eat the cookie, drink the coffee, buy yourself a book or a blanket or a scarf or new pair of boots or whatever it’s going to be. Celebrate yourself, and get used to doing that because you are worth it.
Sometimes the hardest changes in life are the ones where we finally take our own happiness seriously, and then we live according to the changes that we need to make.
May you find confidence as you break through fear, and may you find joy and happiness as you do the things that will make your life better.
I truly believe that you are worth it.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings