Morning Reflection #556: The Resolution of Try

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So I’m about to commit mass heresy with this post, and disagree with someone who’s wisdom and kindness has never before been brought into question.

Although he was apparently 900 years old, and had seen more of the galaxy than I probably ever will, I am here to state unequivocally that in this one thing, this one little truth, Master Yoda was in fact… full of crap.

There is such a thing as ‘try’.

People in the motivation business, or in the ‘human’ business, or just in business have used and abused Yoda’s statement of “do… or do not… there is no try” since it was originally spoken back in ‘The Empire Strikes Back’.

I’ve had it quoted to me so many times that it’s tested my ability to remain calm and peaceful. Because when you get right down to it, trying is the most human thing we do.

Trying is what allows us to fail until we succeed.

If you know anything about the history of the humble Post-it note, you’ll know that the scientist who created the adhesive that is used in the Post-it note was actually trying to create a super strong adhesive that would be applied once and stay there for a really long time.

Instead, the scientist produced in adhesive that is a not very strong but can be applied many, many times.

Trying, with the ability to fail, led to something different that was incredibly successful.

As we collectively come out of a year that will probably live in infamy, many of us around the start of the year create resolutions, or decisions to “try” and achieve something.

Often it’s weight loss, or the cessation of a habit, or maybe it’s to create a new habit of something healthy, or fun, or personally developing. Most people will have broken their resolution within the first three weeks, and will often harbor feelings of self resentment and frustration at their supposed inability to maintain or refrain from a certain behavior.

I’m here to tell you that it’s perfectly okay to try, and fail.

Because some things just aren’t going to work for you. I once had the dream of playing the cello, and I rented a cello and spent two months realizing that my desire to play the cello was nowhere near strong enough to get me through the workload of actually learning it.

It didn’t change anything about me, it didn’t make a difference to my value as a person. I learned something about myself, I was able to pursue a course of action and then let it go.

If I had followed Master Yoda’s teaching to its usually abused concept, I would’ve wasted many, many hours of my life “learning the cello” when it turns out I didn’t want it that badly.

So whatever resolutions you may or may not have, this is me giving you permission (not that you need it) to try and fail. Have fun with it, find out new things about yourself, and rejoice in your ability to think, to try, to fail, to rise up, to overcome, or just to realize that it wasn’t that important.

Several years ago I had a coaching call with a lady who told me that she wanted to lose weight. Within about an hour we had worked out that she actually didn’t want to lose weight, it was just a remnant of some emotional patterns that her mom had instilled within her.

She didn’t need to lose weight, she didn’t want to lose weight, but she needed to make peace inside of herself with the little girl who still believed that her mom was right.

So maybe try making peace with the past this year, so that you can go into your future trying new things, unencumbered by the dogma and distress of teachings of the past. Find what works for you, and embrace that.

There’s nothing more joyful than an authentic you.

And to find that, you’re probably going to have to try a few things.

— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings