The Painful Cost of Wisdom
When I was a young child, I was impressed by people who could ‘keep their head when all around them were losing theirs’. Likewise, I found myself fascinated by people who always seemed to be one step ahead of the situation, and who could see ‘the next move, the next concept’.
As a kid who often felt surrounded by chaos, and who most of the time was just trying to survive, there was something magical about someone who seemed to be at the next level of control and understanding.
And I wanted to be just like them.
Maybe it was the lack of strong and calm role models in my life, or maybe it was just that they seemed to offer a quality of life that was outside of my experience. Whichever it was, I wanted so badly to be like them that I would try to learn more about them, try to be like them.
During times of difficulty and stress (which were plentiful growing up) my intention would be to remain cool, calm and controlled, knowing the next play in the game, being the one who could keep it together and make the right moves.
And as I got older, I realized how they came to be that way.
Because those who are cool under fire and collected in the moment, are usually that way because they have been in dangerous and difficult moments. When I would go deeper into the lives of those whom I admired, I found a litany of struggle and hardship, of chaos and regret.
Unless you are one of those preternaturally calm people, the only way to get really good at staying calm during the chaos is to have been in a lot of situations where panic and lack of knowledge were not an option.
Which usually means something bad was going on, and they had to figure out how to respond.
Which kind of describes where we are right now. For many of us, we’re in a situation that we have never faced before, and it’s definitely one where others are ‘losing their heads’. Yet there is wisdom here to be gathered, if we are calm enough to seek it, and recognize it when it becomes apparent.
It’s the wisdom of understanding the beauty of everyday life.
All of us are guilty of having taken the many wondrous blessings of our former life for granted. Sitting in a restaurant or coffee shop with friends, hugging a loved one whom you haven’t seen in a while, or simply enjoying a chance to relax out of doors, watching the world pass by from a mountain or an ocean.
There’s so many things that we have taken as a normal part of life, and failed to realize how blessed we were in that moment.
And now we have a choice as we go forward in our lives.
For some, this ‘return to the new normal’ will be nothing more than a return to that which they believe is their right, their promised allowance from the a universe which owes them so much, and for a while has taken away what is theirs.
Pity be to those who will not see the opportunity to lose their entitlement, and instead take upon them the wisdom of understanding and of gratitude.
For gratitude drives out a multitude of sorrows, as we focus on the bounty of which we partake, expecting nothing as a right, and feeling deep within our souls a thankfulness for each new day, each welcome experience, each blessed breath and moment to be.
Wisdom is often gained under hardship, but it can light the way before us.
If only we will learn the lessons, and let them take sway in our hearts.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrmusings