A Dysfunctional Nation of One.
As this virus wreaks havoc across the world, the way we are interacting as human beings is changing. We’ve gone from hugs and kisses to nods and waves.
The very physical contact that enhances our communication has been removed, and in its place is the underlying fear of the close presence of others. We’ve become more insular and less outgoing; more apart and less together.
And we need to alter the way we communicate to make up for it.
We’re seeing an increase in the number of people using video communication to interact, and while that can help, if we’re only saying the same things, hiding away the true and authentic parts of ourselves, then we’re never going to really be able to touch each other in the ways that we need to right now.
Because as our reality shifts and changes like it is right now, all of us are challenged in one way or another.
Which can affect some of us more than others.
Because we, as people, need each other. In order for us to balance psychologically and emotionally, we need both the connections that come from physical presence, and the ones that come from authentic sharing or who we are, and what we are experiencing.
In our associations with others, we find a way to shape our minds, and enlighten our souls.
None of us do well in a vacuum of human connection.
I know that for myself, I rely very heavily on my relationship with my wife, who keeps me both grounded and connected.
If we somehow become emotionally distant from each other, which can happen when we are both dealing with our own stresses and fears, I find myself becoming a very dysfunctional nation of one, where I go inward, and suffer what Holly calls ‘being lost inside myself’.
Alone to fight the battles in which I have so very little perspective.
Because that’s really why we need each other. One of my very favorite phrases in coaching is that ‘you can’t read the label on your own jar’, meaning that you can’t see some of the problems inside of yourself because you’re too close to them, you’re ‘living them’, and that inability to see what is obvious to everyone around you is the most valuable insights you can ever receive.
And you can only get them from other people.
Which is why the very core of our emotional health is dependent upon our ability to find ways to connect authentically, kindly, personally and deeply. Right now, we can’t sit around a fire together, or listen to the waves rolling endlessly into the beach together.
We can’t hike into the mountains, nor go for a walk in the woods. Our usual ways of finding ways to connect are not available to us and we need to look for something that works, something that allows us to find a sense of togetherness even while we stand apart.
None of us is an island. We need each other to find our way out of the darkness.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings