Chasm.
It’s there, deep inside of you. Casting a shadow over everything you think, and everything you do. The more you are aware of it, the better you are able to take control of your journey.
The quality of your life is intimately controlled by the way you are able to cross this chasm, and yet so many people are either unaware that it exists, or unwilling to even try to make the journey to the other side.
And so they live in a perpetual state of chaos.
Because the chasm between your higher brain (cortex) and your lower brain (limbic) is very small in space, but it’s enormous in its ability to determine your destiny.
If you’ve ever seen a two year old in a full on meltdown, you’re witnessing the power of the limbic system to make completely ridiculous choices seem like a normal way to be.
But I’m sure you’ve never acted that way yourself, right? ;)
As a child, we’re totally limbic in our conduct. Someone takes away something we want, and we melt down into a screaming ball of frustration.
Hopefully, somewhere along the way of our younger years, we learn to begin using our cortex to control the limbic system, and changing our behavior so that we don’t act in ways that are inappropriate, unkind or just embarrassing.
Obviously this doesn’t work in all cases.
But the sad part is that most people are unaware of just how much the limbic system still plays a part. Unless you are particularly attuned to the concepts of awareness, most of the time people stop learning to control the limbic system, and stop creating bridges over that chasm, when their life reaches a certain happiness threshold that they can live with.
Until the quality of their life dips below that threshold, they are perfectly content to allow their higher brain to handle as little as possible, and let their limbic system, lower brain, still whisper suggestions and interpretations as it sees fit.
Which is usually protective, and full of negative emotions.
It takes a certain someone to have the courage and the patience to build those bridges. The problem is that the cortex thinks in language, while the limbic screams in emotions.
Learning to express emotion in language is one of the skills I teach people in coaching, and it’s probably one of the hardest things to learn, especially when talking about the negative/protective emotions.
But learning how to decode what you feel is a huge step on your journey to becoming the person of joy and happiness you desire to be.
So the next time you feel yourself moving into a place of negative emotion (anger, frustration, fear, sadness) be aware of that feeling, and encourage yourself to begin writing down the words behind it.
Try to describe the emotion that you are feeling, and then try to explore reasons as to why he might be feeling that way.
The answer might shock you, and it will probably surprise you.
Because in all of my work with clients, I don’t think there has ever been a person who didn’t go through this process and stare at me in wonder, in shock and in surprise when they realize that the fears that they carry as an adult were formed out of the experiences they had as a child.
Back when they were young, they were programmed to feel a certain way by the meaning they took from experience that probably wasn’t what they thought it was going to be.
And so to protect them, their limbic system has been controlling how they feel since the moment that occurred.
Please understand, this is not an easy process, and while it is simple in concept, it is a lifetime in execution. Thirty years into my awareness journey, I’m still learning new things about myself, and sometimes laughing and shaking my head when I realize that I’m acting from an experience that happened so many years ago.
Because the child inside of me is strong, and he is unwilling to let go of the reins easily.
My wish for you today is that your journey to full awareness may bring you the joy, the happiness and the understanding that you seek, and that you are able to share that joy with others around you, so that we may all be peacemakers, and that we may all find a better way to live.
Together.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings