A Fault in the Foundation.
If I were to ask you to define the core of your being, what would you tell me? Would I hear about your family, or your faith? Would you tell me tales of your experiences as a child, or of your heartbreaks as an adult?
Would you recognize your troubles, or would you gloss over all your faults? Would you have any clue about who you are at the very center of your soul?
If not, may I suggest that you need to start doing so now.
I’m not going to lie to you – it’s a difficult process. Coming to a deep self awareness is one of the hardest things we’ll ever do in our lives. To focus inwards and coming to know ourselves is a process that takes time, trials and tears.
It is never easy, but there is nothing more valuable of which I am aware. Truly knowing ourselves is the hardest thing we’ll ever do.
Because it forces us to confront all of our faults, and all of our fears.
Occasionally I’ll meet someone who suffers from what I have come to term as a ‘broken foundation’ – meaning that somewhere deep inside of their soul there is a problem that causes them to act in ways that are destructive to themselves and those around them.
What never fails to astound and sadden me is how completely unaware they usually are of the damage they are causing to others, and also to themselves.
Like children, they rant and they rave, throwing tantrums into the world in a desperate attempt to gain attention, and try to make themselves feel better. If it works, it’s only for a short while before yet again they find something that makes them angry, and off they go again.
And yet most of us, in some way, have an area of our Foundation that we don’t want to inspect too closely, and very often it’s around the concept of our worth.
I spoke today with an inspiring group of women who are all on journeys of their own, trying to work through the struggles in their minds that have caused them to make choices that have not brought them to where they would like to be.
Yet as we went below the surface of their concerns, I can tell you that a couple of them have no idea why they even want to ‘be’ where they think will make them happy.
They are just trying to find a way out of feeling what they feel right now, but what they think will make them happy won’t… it will just leave them more confused.
Because as I wrote recently, ‘you’ll never be able to make right what is wrong’, and the wounds these particular women carry are so subtle, and yet so damaging, that they are trying to find a pathway to a place where they will feel how they desperately want to feel, not realizing that when they arrive at that imagined destination, it will not heal the damage in their soul.
Because what they seek is only to be found inside of themselves.
Yet how can you heal when you don’t even realize you’ve been hurt? In my coaching work, I have helped people come to that deeper knowledge of themselves, and enabled them to find the truths inside of themselves that have set them free from that which has hurt them for so long.
In doing so they’ve been able to change the way they live, and it’s helped them find a sense of peace which helps them live authentically, and love more deeply.
And now I’d like to offer that to you, if you’re interested.
In about two weeks I’m going to try something different, and to be honest I’m a little nervous about it. I’m going to start a group coaching program, based around a lot of the concepts I’ve talked about in this work, and some frameworks that I’ve generated over the past few years.
I know it works one to one, but now I want to see if I can make it work in a way that helps more people in a shorter period of time.
If you’re interested in learning more about this, please use the message button below. There is no charge for being a part of the program, other than I would ask for your honest feedback, and possibly a testimonial at the end if you feel like it has helped you.
Thank you again for your continued support of this work. It means more to me than I can say that you have been so kind with your comments and your willingness to listen to the things I have to say. If you’re interested, message me and we’ll see what we can work out.
It’s still very ‘Beta’, so maybe you’ll get to see me completely flustered a couple of times, but I promise that I will bring my best intentions and anything of value that I know, and we’ll see where we can go together.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings