Becoming the Center of Your Own Universe.
Isn’t it funny how many of us reading that have a negative reaction to it? If you read that, and thought that I was giving people permission to be selfish and cruel, you’re probably not alone.
Because somewhere in our collective social history, we’ve been taught that being focused on yourself is somehow wrong, and will lead to you becoming a bad person.
Which I think is totally wrong.
In my experience, more damage is done to the human race by teaching people that they shouldn’t focus on themselves; forcing people to live lives that they wouldn’t have chosen, relationships that aren’t serving them, and careers that do not inspire them.
The dogma behind the idea of sacrifice as an honorable way to live is destructive and cruel, but it’s been around for generations.
So today, I’m giving you permission to stop living for others, and focus on yourself for a while.
But even then, it’s probably not what you think. Focusing on yourself doesn’t mean living without reference to others, or neglecting those around you. Focusing on yourself means looking after the very basic needs of your health and your soul, and then serving others from a place of gratitude and abundance, rather than out fear that you can’t focus on your own soul.
Realizing that you have a primary duty to yourself, and so does everyone else.
When we become self-focused, and truly embrace the notion and extend it to others, then our view of the world changes. We serve with a different heart, knowing that we are giving by choice, not out of some fear of being a bad person if we don’t.
Likewise, if we are the recipient of service from someone else, then our gratitude increases as we come to understand that the gift of their service was motivated by love, not by guilt.
And when we never ask another to live for us, we give them the gift of finding the truth of who they really are.
I am blessed to have people like this in my life. People who are balanced in the checkbook of their soul and who radiate truth, love, kindness and compassion. They are honest with me, because their desire for my happiness overrides their fear of any reaction I might have to their truthfulness.
They are generous with their time, because they live their lives in such a way that they can give of their time freely and easily, knowing that they will take whatever portion of their time they need for themselves.
And they are the safest to be around, because being focused on themselves means they need nothing from others.
Once you focus on yourself, and do the work on your soul to make yourself happy, then you become the very best version of yourself.
Free to love, knowing that you can survive any heartbreak, free to give, knowing that you will always look after yourself to have enough, and free to share the truths of your soul without fear of repercussion or remorse.
So focus on and take care of you, and then spread your joy into the world.
We need more people like you.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings