Tempus Fugit (Time Flies).
I’m feeling kind of old this week. Partially because I spent most of the weekend installing laminate flooring, which means my knees and my back are hating me right now, and partially because I have a birthday this week.
Let’s just say that I am somewhere north of 35, and somewhere south of 55. It has been said that age is just a number, and that’s true, but lately I’m remembering another wonderful piece of wisdom that I heard about growing older.
It’s not the age of the car, it’s the mileage that counts.
And today, I’m feeling like I’ve done a lot of miles, both physically and spiritually/emotionally. I’ve probably more than my fair share of late nights and long days over the years. I’ve done at least my fair amount of crazy/difficult life experiences.
From our first child having open-heart surgery at 6 days old to spending almost 10 years in a pretty brutal work environment, I think I’ve had some definite seasoning on my soul.
Yet all of that seems to fade into the background right now.
Because I’m really coming to understand that what is behind me is just the foundation for what is in front of me, and I’m starting to feel the ticking of the clock a little louder right now.
As the years seem to pass by a little faster, I’m getting less and less patient with myself. There are things I need to do, dreams I need to live, lives I need to touch and lessons I need to share.
And none of it’s going to happen unless I start doing things.
Before me are so many possibilities that I sometimes lose my focus between them. I know the direction that I want to go in, but life seems determined to try to pull me off course. From concerns on the global scale, to problems in the family world, there’s always something that seems to need my attention and my energy, at a time where I feel like I have less and less of both of those to give.
It’s too easy to see another month go by without having set my foot on the path I know I have to walk.
So as another year goes by, one more trip around the sun finds me trying to become smarter in the way that I use my days, more focused on the moments that are mine.
I’m saying no more often to things that don’t support my vision of the future, and trying to say yes to the things that scare me, even though I know they are the right things to do.
I guess I’m trying to be mature – whatever that may mean.
Because although the future seems to stretch out just as far in front of me as behind me, there is no guarantee that the road ahead will be as long as the one I have already traveled.
I realize I am in the fulcrum, the tipping point, the moment where everything has to balance in order for things to work out right, for me to arrive at that point in the future where I can rest from my labors, feeling that the work has been well done.
And maybe, finally, discover a little sense of peace.
For now, I just know that it’s time to double down on kindness, gratitude, focus and compassion. I think if I go where those lead me, wherever I end up will be somewhere worth having traveled to.
I invite you to join me on that journey, and to see where we arrive together.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings