The Strength of Serenity.
I have the most amazing friend. I’ve known him now for a couple of years. I don’t see him that often, only when he comes in to get treated in my office, yet his ability to make an impact in my life is not limited to the time that we have spent talking. I honestly believe that he is one of the greatest people that I have ever met.
And he probably has no idea why I would say that.
Because if you saw him walking down the street, you probably wouldn’t notice him. Chances are you would walk by this guy in the store and not pay any attention to him.
But if you sat and talked with him for a while, you’d realize that he is probably one of the most kind, humble, genuine, decent and honorable men you are ever going to meet.
He is a man who seems to have his life figured out.
And I’ve been trying to learn from him at every opportunity I can, because it’s not immediately apparent what has led to his goodness. Sure, he has a strong faith, but I don’t know that that’s it.
He never pushes it, never really talks about it unless you ask him, and even then he doesn’t evangelize or preach. I’ve met other people of his faith, and while they were good people, none of them radiated the calm, compassionate presence that he brings.
And I have met a few other people of his goodness who were not of his faith.
In talking to him today, I think I stumbled upon the answer. It was something that he mentioned in passing, while he was explaining something else to me. He wasn’t trying to draw attention to it, because as good a man as he is, he probably thinks it was nothing.
At the moment he said it, I was completely unaware of the magnitude of the words he had spoken, but as I replayed our interaction in my head later in the day, his words finally impacted me in the way that they should have done.
He had spent several years just in serving others.
This good man, a man I look up to and respect, had given several years of his life in the service of others, with no thought of a return for himself.
In doing so, I think he found the balance for which we all seek, between our responsibility to ourselves, and our service or responsibility to others. I don’t know how much of his humility came from his service, or how much was just the good man that he is.
All I know is that he appears to have found a deep wellspring of serenity in his soul through serving, and it gives him an amazing strength.
When you talk to him, you feel like you are being appreciated. When he listens, he does so to hear you, not just to wait for you to stop talking. When he speaks, you realize that he is sharing the deep truths of his soul without guile, without judgment, and without desire, other than your well-being, your happiness, and your life.
In short, he is the kind of man I want to ‘grow up to be’.
Because he is exactly the kind of person who we need more of in this world. Someone who has found the peace in their heart to love without judgment, care without conditions, and serve without selfishness.
His quiet example should be published from the rooftops, and held up as an example to everyone around him.
But he won’t do that. He probably doesn’t have the time, because he’s busy serving somebody else, in his own quiet, kind, peaceful, serene and benevolent way.
I am so grateful to my friend for the lessons he brings me every time we meet.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
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