Butterfly.
When she was little, she was told she was beautiful, which was true, because she was. But over time, if people tell you the same one thing over and over again, and it’s the only thing that you think has any value, you’ll start to believe that that one thing is the only value you have.
So she listened when people told her she was beautiful, and ignored people when they said anything else.
Even though she had so much more to offer.
After she was grown, the person who should have been the one to teach her that she had so much more value than her looks took a different path, and taught her that she had no value whatsoever.
In her heartbreak and loss she believed that person, and began to feel like she was no-one at all. So she withdrew from the world, and surrounded herself with an emotional chrysalis.
Hiding from everyone, especially from herself.
Once you identify yourself a certain way, the world has a tendency to only see you that one way. People come to expect your behaviors, and they get comfortable with the way that you are.
It’s not their fault, or a sign of bad intentions on their part, it’s just human nature, but it can lead to some difficulties along the way when people forget the purpose of a chrysalis.
Because a chrysalis is really a crucible of change. Inside a chrysalis an amazing transformation takes place, where a caterpillar completely changes its nature, becoming something quite different.
And inside of her own chrysalis, a wonderful change was taking place inside of her.
Because through all of the struggles, the heartaches, the lonely late nights, the fears of never being enough and the day to day worries of how to survive the changes that she was going through, her own marvelous transformation was taking place.
The little girl who believed she only had value in beauty began to realize that she was her own person, and that she liked that person very much.
And then it became time to open the chrysalis, and step into the world.
As she did, there were those who loved her who worried for her, which was only natural and right. For the change in her was profound, and all of us struggle with change in our own way.
But bravely she continued to flourish, finding her wings, finding herself, and ultimately discovering the truths of her own soul. And finally it came time to spread her wings once more, and see who she truly had become.
And to her great surprise, she found that she was still beautiful.
But no longer was that as important, for she had come to see that the greatest beauty that she possessed were the stunning facets of a soul that had endured hardship without bitterness, loss without fear, loneliness without cruelty and hopelessness without despair.
She realized, in that moment, that her beauty was greater within than without, and that she had something to offer the world.
So she spread her wings and took flight, and it was a beautiful thing to see.
For Pamela. Ever the butterfly.
Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings