The Energy of A Non-Choice.
I got stood up. No, not in the date kind of a way; in the ‘I got up early and drove into my office to see a patient who didn’t show’ kind of a way.
The fact that it was a Sunday morning wasn’t lost on me, nor was the fact that I drove 30 minutes each way to get there. Nor was I unaware that this wasn’t the first time she had failed to show for an appointment.
And at the moment I realized she would not be coming, I had a choice. The good thing was that I had already chosen.
See, the choice was how to feel about it. Back in my youth, before I had done the work that I have completed so far, I would have become angry at the ‘waste of my time’, and probably taken her failure to show as a personal insult to myself.
Then I would have gotten angry (because anger is always a secondary emotion) and spent the rest of the day being annoyed about it.
What a message I would have been sending to the universe that way?
I can honestly tell you that her failure to show didn’t bother me at all, because my ‘choice’ of how to react was in some ways really no choice at all. I didn’t feel a need to be angry because I didn’t feel insulted.
The situation wasn’t about me at all. I had done what I have promised to do, which is to be available to serve my patients in whatever way I can. I showed up, and was ready to serve.
The rest of it wasn’t about me at all.
A little while after I left the office, I received a very kind text from the patient. She used very derogatory language about herself, and offered many apologies. I told her that none was necessary, and that I didn’t want her to talk about herself that way.
I told her that being a single mom is the hardest thing I can ever imagine facing, and that her oversleeping wasn’t a sign of her being a bad person, it was a sign of the love that she shows her children by working so hard for them.
I hope she believed me. I’m guessing she didn’t, because she is so hard on herself.
Later that day, I received a call from a patient who needed to come in urgently, and then another patient who was hurting and wondered if I was around. I honestly don’t believe that is a coincidence.
I’ve been in practice 14 years now, and I can tell you, hand over my heart in honesty, that there is an energy to the universe that is cognizant of the energy we put out there.
Had I been angry about the earlier patient, I doubt I would have seen the other two in the afternoon.
My challenge for you today is to try to be aware of the energy you are sending out into the universe, and see if you find that the universe reciprocates what you send it.
For me, I have seen time and time again the power of intention, and of a focus on kindness. The more I am able to be focused on serving in integrity, the more chances the universe gives me to serve and be blessed.
Sometimes it requires us to work on ourselves first, so that we can be in alignment with our intentions in a way that will manifest our kindness and our dedication.
That’s the hard work, and believe me, I still have so very far to go in my journey. The further I go, the further I realize I have to go.
But that’s why we are here.
Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings