My wife and I sat quietly in front of our ornament tree on the evening of the 24th. I call it an ornament tree because this year we had two trees.
One is our long serving artificial tree, with branches just perfectly placed to display some of our eclectic, quirky ornaments, and the other a real tree with just white LED lights and stars on it. The difference between the two is significant, and yet both are beautiful.
Just like all of us.
I love the Christmas season, because as a people, we seem to focus on giving rather than getting, serving rather than receiving. For one small part of the year, we seem to ascend to the better angels of our nature, and become the people that we aspire to be.
We are less prone to anger, more likely to embrace. We share our love more freely, with a greater openness and sincerity.
Kindness becomes our watchword, and love our first resort.
And it’s beautiful. As Holly and I snuggled up in front of our tree, her emotions were very much at the surface. That evening we’d attended a religious service, and she found herself moved beyond words as the pastor welded the words of his scriptures with the teachings of Mr. Rogers, proving to us all that kindness is not the province of any religion, and that goodness can be found in all neighborhoods.
She wept openly, and I held her.
Over this past year, we’ve undergone some changes as a family, a business, a marriage, and as friends. It’s been a tough year, and yet through it all her heart has become more open, her love more pure and kind.
I’ve seen her weep with frustration at the struggles of others where she has felt powerless to help, and I’ve seen her give of herself in ways that I’ve never seen before.
It’s been a humbling privilege to share my life with her this year even more than ever.
As her vision has become less encumbered with judgment and sadness, she has taught me so many different lessons. From a woman who didn’t love dogs, she now donates to the animal shelter and would adopt them all if she could.
As someone who struggles with the depths of her feelings, she now cries more openly, loves more deeply gives more kindly.
As her heart has opened, so has her vision of the world.
As we sat there, in front of our tree, she snuggled tightly into me, and whispered softly “we are so blessed”. I listened to her talk about the good things she sees in the world, and in our lives, and I was touched beyond words.
In the years we have been married she has taught me so many things, and yet her first Christmas gift to me this year was one of helping me see things through her eyes, in her mind, within her soul.
And it was beautiful.
Wherever you are in the world today, however difficult your trials, I hope the words I have written this last year have helped you to see things just a little bit differently, and struggle just a little bit less.
For as my wife’s emotions testified on the evening before Christmas day, there is an incredible goodness in the world, and it’s there for us if we can but look for it with a different heart and a kinder soul.
As a people, we are good. As a world, it is beautiful.
As a life, it is incredible.
Whoever and wherever you are, please know that I am grateful for your presence in my life, and I wish you the best in this season and the year to come. I will do my best to serve you, and find new ways to help you.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings