The Energetic Handcuffs of Hate.
There’s an age old teaching, that’s been around for so long because it’s true. “That which you focus on you will see, and in some cases manifest.” As someone who has been trying now for several years to unburden myself of a hatred, I can tell you from personal experience that nothing good comes from harboring those kinds of feelings for anyone, or anything.
It doesn’t serve you, or progress you, in any way.
In fact, hatred might be the single most dangerous emotion we can hold within ourselves. I’ve never experienced those kinds of feelings without also entertaining a sense of superiority (I’m better then the person that I hate) or a sense of moral standing (I would never have behaved in that way).
Yet if you live long enough, and keep your eyes open wide enough, you’ll eventually find yourself doing things that surprise you, and put you at risk for your own condemnation.
And even worse, you’re spending an incredible amount of energy focusing on that which you do not like.
Which, if you have ever understood anything about the way intention shapes the universe, is a terrible thing to focus on. The longer you spend your time focused on someone who you don’t like, the more of your attention you are actually giving them, and the more power you give them.
Please think about this for a moment – every second you give to someone in hatred is a second that they have taken from you, and will never give back.
And we all know that time is the ultimate currency, because once you’ve spent it, you will never, ever, have it returned unto you.
So instead of wasting valuable intention, time and emotional energy, I suggest that we try to move beyond the negative feelings that we carry.
I know that is easier said than done, but I would like to share with you some thoughts today about how it might be achieved. It begins with a difficult question, one that requires self honesty and self acceptance.
What am I getting from this feeling of hatred?
Before I go further, please understand that I know there are people in the world who have done despicable things, and I do not mean in any way to excuse them, nor ask you to try to rationalize what they did.
This is about helping you let go of that which does not heal you, and allow you to move beyond those feelings into a place of lighter feelings.
So to get back to my question – why does hate ‘feel good’?
We hate because it justifies us, swelling our sense of self, which increases our feeling of significance, one of our human needs. Our need to feel significant is a sign that we do not feel significant in ourselves, and hatred is not going to help you move into a place where you realize that you were significant the moment you were born.
But sometimes, we struggle to get there, so we need to find an avenue to significance that doesn’t involve our superiority to another, but instead, our progression in spite of ourselves.
If you would loosen the handcuffs of hatred to which you are bound, you need to find ways to feel better about yourself, so that you feel less of a need to feel better than others. To do this, you need to do things that you believe are significant, and go beyond the limitations that you have set for yourself.
When I skydived from 13,000 feet, I felt a greater peace because I had gone beyond what I thought I was capable of. My sense of significance increased, and yet I felt a greater love for others, and a stronger desire to serve and heal where I can.
And while you’re busy doing those things, you’ll have less time for hatred. As you focus on doing good around you, you’ll find that hatred can eventually turn into pity.
Hatred dehumanizes, while love uplifts; both those who hate, and the object of their hatred thereof.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
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