The Fall of All of Your Foundations.
We all stand on the bases of our beliefs. It’s one of the more human aspects of our species – the way we attempt to make sense of our universe by means of solid foundational beliefs.
For some it’s in a supreme being, for others it’s science. Many have a solid belief in family, marriage and principles such as freedom, justice, liberty and honesty.
Don’t get me wrong, they are all good.
But sometimes you’ll find that your foundations are not as sure as you thought they were. I’ve seen families fall apart, faith lost, principles trampled under situations and kindness sacrificed at the altar of greed.
I’ve seen marriages that I thought were solid crumble, and good people reveal themselves as nightmares cloaked in the robes of righteousness.
And I’ve seen people fall apart under the loss of their foundations.
As I work with people who have faced some of life’s more treacherous trials, I’ve come to the realization that there are strong people who have strong foundations, and strong people who have very little in the way of foundations.
That was hard for me to understand at first, and to this day it’s still not easy, but the further I walk in my own journey, I have come to understand that the person who stands strong without foundations is in fact the strongest of all.
That understanding has been hard won.
But as I have meditated on the concept of our foundations, I have arrived at the concept that the need to stand on a foundation is in fact a form of certainty addiction. As one of our 4 basic human needs (4 basic, 2 advanced) certainty can be a very powerful base upon which to stand, but it can also become our most destructive need.
In my own life, my addiction to certainty (which is really the desire to avoid potential fear/pain) has cost me years of enjoyment, as I became stuck at a point in my life where I never should have been, and remained there for far too long.
As I work with people through their journey to self awareness and strength, I often have to help through a process where they are able to become less dependent on some of their foundations, and find within themselves the courage to ‘float on stormy seas’. Although this is at times painful and scary, it’s so life affirming to see someone break through into a new understanding, one that fills them with confidence and courage.
That they are strong enough to stand on a foundation of themselves.
Because true certainty is not found outside of yourself, but within and because of yourself. True certainty is the knowledge and faith in yourself that you can stand firm in who you are despite the loss of any or even all of your foundations. True certainty comes not out of arrogance, but out of a humility forged in the fire of our experiences and the courage of our choices.
And when you are certain of yourself, you will find peace as you walk through this world.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings