The Small Victories.
Last week was one of those weeks that I would like to forget. It seemed that every situation produced a problem, and every problem I fixed generated two more.
I’ve been fighting to restore the operating system on my primary work computer since last Thursday evening, and as I sit here at 12:54 AM Mountain standard Time on Monday morning I am struck by the knowledge that I have to start all over again with the computer.
Every hour, every minute and every thought that I have put into this project so far has essentially been rendered useless because of the complexities of modern technology.
And the timing couldn’t be worse.
I have several time essential important projects for work, I have a seminar to prepare for next Tuesday and I have a class I’m teaching tonight. I have responsibilities to friends and coaching clients as well as family. I have things that I need to get accomplished, including training for the Spartan race that my son and I will be running in June (remind me why I signed up for this).
I also now have a huge blood blister on my right thumb from trying to replace a taillight on my wife’s car where the screws were rusted solid and I tried to convince them to move with a pair of pliers. Anyone who’s tried that knows it’s a stupid move, made especially worse by sticking my thumb in the wrong place.
Yeah, just one of those weekends were everything that could go wrong seemed to go wrong.
I know what you’re thinking at this point. You’re wondering where’s the victory in all of this, because it seems to be hard to find? Well, there is a victory here but it’s not one that’s easily seen, because the victory was in the way I responded to all of these things.
In the past I would have become super frustrated, and thrown myself my own pity party, and then invited everybody around to come on in and commiserate with me.
But not this time.
As I’ve written before, I am training myself to always ask why is this happening for me, but I’m also training myself to try to react with gratitude rather than grimacing. I’m trying to retain a sense of peace in the middle of frustration, and determination instead of desperation. I guess I’m trying to act like somebody who I would like to be, and who I hope I am becoming.
So my biggest victory was that when I pinched my thumb between the pliers I didn’t even swear.
I accepted that the pain I was feeling, and the eventual blood blister than I knew would be appearing, was simply life’s way of teaching me not to do that again.
I accepted that the rust that was holding the screws together was a chemical reaction to moisture, rather than a personal attack on my sanity and well-being.
I accepted that the problems with my computer are simply part of the price that we pay for the technical ability to do all that we can do.
But mostly I accepted that this too will pass, that there will be a brighter day in the future, and that I will accomplish more by trying to remain calm, focused, resolute and peaceful. I accepted the victory over myself, and even though it was a small one, it was a very sweet win.
And I’m grateful for it.
So I wonder... what were your victories this weekend?
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings