The fierce sword of compassion.
Does that sound like an oxymoron? As we generally understand it, fierce is a word which describes an aggressive tendency, and aggression doesn’t usually indicate compassion.
And how could a sword be fierce, given that it’s an inanimate object? Also, swords are used to hurt people, and that doesn’t sound very compassionate, does it? At first glance, that statement sounds ridiculous.
Yet it makes all the sense in the world.
Because over the years, people have come to have a very weak and loose idea of what the word compassion means, and it’s caused many problems and a lot of heartache.
When we talk of compassion, people think of it in terms of charity, and of giving to others, and that can certainly be a part of being compassionate, but it’s only one side of the equation, and if it’s not balanced, then the equation falls apart.
Which is why the sword has to have two sharp edges, and not one. It HAS to cut both sides.
Or to put it another way, compassion has to serve both the person being compassionate, and the person they are being compassionate to. Also, being compassionate doesn’t mean shielding someone from the life lessons that they need to learn, even if they are painful.
But people don’t want to live that kind of compassion. Because it’s hard, and it can cause temporary pain for others, and especially for ourselves.
Showing compassion to yourself can mean removing yourself from a family situation which is painful and toxic.
That removal may be forever, or it may only be until you have healed enough to try and change the dynamic, but to the outsider it can appear selfish, instead of compassionate.
Or maybe true compassion is about waiting until someone is trying to change before reaching out and offering help, because you realize that the person needs to want to change enough to do something, before you can help them help themselves, otherwise you rob them of the chance to grow.
True compassion is about balance, not about ego. True compassion serves what is right, not who is right.
Ultimately, the fiercest part of compassion, and undoubtedly the hardest, is finding the balance between what is selfish, and what is compassionate, and when is the time to give to another, and the time to give to yourself.
When are you doing the right thing for the right reasons, or the wrong thing for the wrong reasons.
Only you can know through awareness and a sharp sense of self honesty.
The longer I live, the more life seems to be about finding the balances between principles, and compassion is a principle that seems to demand balance most of all.
So here we are.
Balancing.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings