Life beneath the Veil of Disappointment.
Have you ever wanted to disappear out of shame? I think most of us have probably had one or two moments like that in our lives.
Times where the realities of a situation weigh down on us, and we would like nothing more than the ground to open up and swallow us whole, or that we would have the ability somehow to hide our face, and become anonymous to the world.
Kind of like wearing a veil, so no-one can see who we are.
Those moments often occur because we have become a disappointment to the expectations that we currently hold, or, as is more often the case, a disappointment to others who have expectations about how we SHOULD live our lives, yet are unwilling to understand that we have a different point of view.
People who desire you to live for their truth, for their satisfaction, and not for your own.
I spoke at length recently to a good friend who is living a very difficult life. She feels like she has become a terrible disappointment to those around her, and that she is a failure because of the expectations she has mistakenly adopted about her life and her purpose.
Through her tears, sobbing profusely, we discussed some of the difficult truths that she faces, and I tried to help her see past the soul destroying limitations of her current understanding of the world.
She has been taught almost from her birth that she only has value if she lives a certain way, achieves a certain goal, and only then can she rest.
As the truths she has tried so hard to live have tightened harder and harder around her neck, threatening to choke all the joy out of her life, she has spiraled down into sadness, depression, fear and self loathing.
She lives under a veil of disappointment, wishing she could disappear from the sight of others, and be seen by very few people.
Because that is really the point of a veil you see. We render the person beneath as anonymous, without identity, worth or value, unless they conduct themselves in a way that we feel is appropriate.
We unknowingly demean their humanity when we have an expectation, because we essentially assign a value of 'less than' until they fulfill our desires, even thought it may not be theirs.
With all the energy of my heart, I beg you to throw off any expectations that you may have for others. How little may you know the weight you place upon them, the sadness that may assail them, from your desire to have them sacrifice their truths to your own.
If you dare, ask yourself what you truly seek to gain from their submission, and see if that is within alignment with the highest truths and values within you.
We are all born, we all live, we all die. May we allow everyone the freedom to choose their path knowing that they are loved because of who they are, rather than what they are doing.
And may we love ourselves that way as well.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings