Looking at you rather than me.
Trying to become self aware is a funny process. The longer I practice, the more I come to the realization that I have developed so many habits over the years that are designed to focus my awareness anywhere but where it needs to be.
Which is on me.
One of the easiest, most addictive and honestly most prevalent habits that I find is to focus on the faults of others. Let’s face it, it’s an easy target. If I look through the filter of judgment, and not of humility and kindness, I can find faults enough to keep me busy for a lifetime, so I never have to worry about myself
It was Eleanor Roosevelt who stated this in a beautifully simple truth. “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people”.
But once I turn my awareness inwards, seeking the truths of my life, I find not a clear vista from a mountain, but a misty, dark, uncomfortable terrain full of shadows and secrets. My soul, it seems, is unwilling to be understood simply.
And that’s a pity, because it really needs the work.
The part of me that wants to avoid being aware wants you to know that most other people’s do as well, but I’m not going to listen to him (see what I mean, it’s an addictive habit).
This realization has really shown benefit in my coaching practice, as I help people make breakthroughs and change situations that have been long term problems.
I know that the person I’m helping is on the right path when they find themselves directing their focus away from their own capabilities and onto others, and then stop themselves, realizing that they are avoiding their own truths.
Some of the most angry, most abrasive and most difficult people are the ones who spend all of their time focused on the faults of others, rather than face the painful torrent of internal pain that seeks to overwhelm them.
These are they who run from stillness, and court chaos rather than peace. Do you know anyone like that… I’m sure you do.
The more I forgive others, and focus on my own problems, the faster I find my journey into awareness progressing, and the greater peace I find in my soul.
My focus determines my progress.
But only if I control it, and direct it where it needs to be.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings