The case for compassion.
Have you ever been hurt? No necessarily in a physical sense, although that can be extremely painful, but in an emotional way; deep enough that it didn’t just ruin your day, but scarred your soul, changing how you think, act, react and belong.
If you have, I’m sorry. We’ve probably all been there, but that doesn’t make it any easier to accept or get through.
Even though the wound heals, the scar that we live with can still be very painful.
And sometimes we cover that painful scar with shame and self judgment. We restrict access to that part of our soul, never allowing anyone, including and especially ourselves, to see, hear, touch or heal that part of us that is damaged.
At first we may not understand how it affects us, but over time we adopt patterns of protective behavior that unintentionally inflicts damage on ourselves and those around us.
And we never look upon the scar, because the darkness, the chaos, the pain and possibly the self loathing is too great. Alone and unassisted, we are anchored to a reality in the past, that drags on our today, and prevents us from embracing all that tomorrow has to offer.
Until someone comes along who can help us move beyond the way we see ourselves now.
Opening up to that person is so hard. Afraid of judgment, frightened of opinions and scared of condemnation we try for so long to run from that which we know will inevitably catch us.
At some point, we have to be completely open with a person who can help us to heal from the inside, if only we can trust them.
And this is where compassion comes in. If the person to whom we are talking judges us in any way, we are most likely to shut down, close our hearts and pull away from the conversation that we so desperately need.
When what we feel from the other person is understanding, non-judgment, a true desire to help and the willingness to be there in spite of all our weaknesses, then we can open our hearts.
With compassion to uphold us we can begin the difficult process of cleaning out the scars that hold us back from enjoying a life that is truly our own, truly engaging, and truly free.
If you are struggling to find someone with that compassion, I would ask you to please keep searching. We are out here, and truly desire to help you lay down your burdens and grow into happiness.
If you are someone who is helping someone else, I would implore you to do the work necessary on your own soul so that you may approach each person you meet with a heart full of compassion and a desire to serve from your soul.
With compassion, we can carry another’s burdens and allow them to fly free.
As we are all meant to do.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings