When love is not enough.
In my work as a coach, I have been blessed to help people when they are at their most vulnerable. Unfortunately, there are often times when I have to help them transition through difficult obstacles, at a time when they least want to hear what I have to say.
And it’s a balancing act, trying to deliver the words they need to hear, in the way that they need to hear them. I have to walk a very fine line sometimes, between compassion and contention.
The most important thing when helping another is that it ‘must never be about you’.
A recent example of this came to light when an older sibling was trying to help a younger sibling, by giving advice that was considered to be ‘things that they need to hear’.
And in reality, the older sibling was correct in the concepts he was trying to communicate.
But the younger sibling could not listen to the older brother, because it was all about the older brother’s desire to be right, to no longer be embarrassed by his younger sibling, and by the frustration that he felt when trying to communicate with his younger sibling.
In short, it was all about the older brother’s feelings, and his message to his younger sibling fell on ears that only heard derision, anger and scorn.
When trying to help someone, the most important lesson is to accept and respect their human divinity. When a person realizes that we acknowledge their right to be who they want to be, and that our own ego no longer plays any role in the equation, that person can then choose to listen to you if they so wish.
When it becomes about us as a healer, or teacher, then the message we try to communicate will be lost in translation, strangled by our own ego and drowned out by our desires.
The greeting ‘Namaste’ can help us understand this balance. Namaste is often translated into a concept that essentially proclaims “the divine in me bows to the divine in you”.
Accepting the other person’s divinity, or worth and right of being, opens a channel of mutual respect, communication and cooperation. In that spirit, changes can occur and miracles can manifest.
When you truly accept and respect another person’s being, you stop trying to subvert their soul and instead move into serving that which is sacred.
Namaste my friends. May you have an amazing day today, and serve from selflessness.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings