Learning to Live with Ourselves.
There are many theories about why we are here. For some it’s a random accident, after an explosion of nothing into something. For some, it’s a belief in something greater than us, directing and controlling our reality as we learn to become something more than we are. For many, it’s a mystery of intention and progression, as we evolve physically and spiritually.
I don’t claim to have answers. Those of you who have followed this work will know that I’m all about the questions that guide us, rather than the answers that control us.
But since we are here, I’ve tried to see what I can learn along the way. Recently I’ve become encumbered with the possibility that one of the reasons we are here is to learn something incredibly difficult, yet so intimately personal that we can never fully share the burden with others. Something that is possible to each one of us, yet eludes almost all of us.
We have to learn to live in harmony with ourselves.
Maybe that’s easier for you than it is for me, I don’t know. I’m lost even at the possibility of quantifying such a conundrum. How do you scale your sense of peace, or measure your balance over time?
What calculation can satisfy the understanding of our actions when weighed against the intentions of our aspirations? Is there a unifying equation that allows us to determine that harmony of who we are with who we believe we should be?
I struggle to find the formula for solving peace.
All I know is that it seems to be unique for each of us. We all have to find our own way through this life, and through our own conscience. For me, this balance is fleeting, elusive and fragmented. As I progress along my path of awareness, I am made aware of how great the discrepancy between my actions, and the principles that I espouse actually is.
So I try to align one with the other.
Imperfectly, with a greater desire than understanding, I seek to weave a tapestry of integrity between the me who is and the me who should be.
Each stitch in this work is hard fought, as I seek to heal many wounds with understanding, and find congruency within the many facets of my soul. Always searching for that elusive moment where the universe rotates into focus, and for one moment I find peace in abundance, filling my very being with an indescribable balance of light, wherein I might rest.
And find a way to live with myself in peace and harmony.
But for now, that peace is beyond me, and harmony is so hard to find. So like all who are before me, around me and after me, I step forward into my journey, hoping that one day I will find the completion of my understanding, and an alignment of all that I am with all that I aim to be.
Until then, I struggle, seeking and striving for that next alignment of my soul.
— Dr. Alan Barnes
@maddrbmusings